Swirling DustClouds of Dominating Thoughts

Almost 38...a mixed bag.

2009-02-21T23:04:00.000-08:00

To think it's been 20 years this summer since I graduated from high school nearly shrinks the universe down to the size of a pea.

It's nothing. A speck of time. My life, my generation, my millinum... what have I learned?

I hope it would be humility, humanity and hospitality.

Tomorrow is my 38th birthday. I've sort of been all over the place lately about how I feel about getting older. I find myself with the strange desire to lie when people ask my age. Always they are shocked. This is a not so bad and I'm quite sure that anyone is Hollywood would kill to have this genetic feature of mine. Am I gloating? No....at least I don't mean to.

I am extremely happy to have experienced these last 38 years. I love my parents. I miss them. I wish I would have appreciated them more when I was young. It's true that you just don't know what you have til it's gone. Luckily, I can still talk and visit with them. Yet, even so, I don't talk to them enough and I visit far less than that.

I can't even bring myself to write about the brief torment I felt today. My mind takes me back to troubled times of not so long ago. Scars left behind from a wound that so many times dragged me to my knees...looking up to the only place left. Where else could I go? Not like the pain of childbirth that produces joy. This pain lingers and haunts. For me it's the kind of pain that always leads me to same place...hope. A vision of friendship and healing...where everyone can exist in wholeness.

The day is coming. I have time. Best not to procastinate though.

38? Holy crap. Forget it Kathy...it's just a number.

Member

2009-01-25T22:24:00.000-08:00

I finally did it.

I became a member of a church.

I have been a believer for at least 16 years. Today is Kaytee's sweet sixteenth birthday. I was planning on spending this day with her until she informed me that she'd rather hang out with her boyfriend. I wasn't surprised at all...
so I signed up for the bayside 101 class. A 4 hour crash course on what Bayside is all about.
I've never understood why churches always want you to become a member? Here are the reasons they gave...
1. Because Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. see Ephesians 5:25
2. Commitment
3. Membership tells the church who they can count on.
4. Putting down roots produce spiritual growth.

But do you want to know what really sold me? As I was reading through their core beliefs, I read this...

In non-essential beliefs- we have LIBERTY. "Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgement on disputable matters...Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls...So then each of us will give an account of himself to God...So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God." Romans 14: 1,4,12,22

Folks, I've never seen a church use this verse. Especially in their core beliefs. Agree to disagree? Be tolerant and above all love your neighbor? I have never found a church that I agree so much with. Everything is biblically based. Nothing weird or crazy. Ah, I have found my home.

I knew what becoming a member would mean. There are things I would be expected to do. Most of them I have already been doing and the results in my life have been amazing. First let me tell you what it means to be a member and then I will tell you which ones I will need to start doing...

Being a member means I will...
1. protect the unity of my church
a. by acting in love toward other members (I think it applies to everyone, dah)
b. by refusing to gossip
c. by following the leaders (cool, like kindergarten!)

2. share the responsibility of my church
a. by praying for it's growth
b. by inviting the unchurched to attend
c. by warmly welcoming those who visit

3. serve the ministry of my church
a. by discovering my gifts and talents
b. by living a godly life
c. by developing a servant's heart

4. support the testimony of my church
a. by attending faithfully
b. by living a godly life (isn't that in number 3?)
c. by giving regularly

Doesn't that sound easy? What in the world was holding me back? I know what you're thinking...but Kathy, it says GIVE regularly! Does that mean tithe?

Yep. And I've already been doing it. I started tithing 10% of my income over 3 months ago. In fact, I tithe 20% of what Michael gives me for child support and alimony. Why? Because when I was married, tithing was not something we agreed on. He didn't want to and since the idea of giving that much money was so scary, I found it far to easy not to do it. But guess what...I was only hurting our family. Now that I'm single I make my own financial decisions and I figured that giving Michael's portion might help along with regular prayers for him. Last month I stumbled upon a Bible verse that actually supports my theory.
"And without doubt the lesser person is blessed by the greater. In the one case, the tenth is collected by men who die; but in the other case, by him who is declared to be living." Hebrews 7: 7,8. Not that I think Michael is lesser! We are equal.

Tithing is not about money. It's about commitment and faith. Though I was a Christian, I never trusted God to take care of my needs financially. Even when we made almost 100k a year. Now I am single with 2 teenagers and I am finally trusting God and giving him what is indeed his. He gave me everything I have. How can I steal from God? How can I say it is not fair for him to ask this of me? I gave him my life because he gave his for me. I love him because he first loved me.
God loves a cheerful giver...and I will rejoice that I am able to give.
So it's been 3 months and I have just as much as I did before. My bills still get paid. We go on trips (skiing last weekend). I have not cut back on anything (except eating out when I'm working). I can't explain it, but it's true. He is faithful, so I will be too.

Here is what the Bible says about tithing...

"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse that there may be food in my house. Test me in this' says the Lord 'and see if I won't throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessings that you won't have enough room for it!" Malachi 3:10
This is the ONLY place in the Bible that God asks us to test him.

So what I am not doing that I need to do?
Find a small group, get connected. Going to Church every Sunday is great, but I need to be involved in a small group where people can get to know me, pray for me and support me and vise versa. There are a bunch. I'm considering an art group or one that helps parents with their teenagers. Also I want to start helping out with the homeless. I already give my hotel shampoos and soaps to this group who minister to the homeless on the last sunday of every month. I'd like to ride along and help.

Faith without action is dead. Talk is cheap. I want to be like Christ...so I will DO what Christ did...love others.

I will end this post with an awesome quote...

"Beware of spending too much time looking back at what you once were, when God wants you to become something you have never been!"
Oswald Chambers

Hope Walks Pictures.

2009-01-14T12:16:00.001-08:00

what a trip!

2009-01-13T22:55:00.000-08:00

Tonight I am in North Bend...or you can say, Coos Bay. It's on the Oregon Coast. Anyway, I was here last week as well. I report the same time tomorrow as I did last week. I wonder if things will go better tomorrow??

Last week our plane was late because of weather in San Francisco. We were scheduled to fly to Portland then do a round trip to Medford then our last leg to our overnight, Redding.
The weather in North Bend wasn't good. In fact, we watched as our plane missed it's approach and diverted to Euguene. It wasn't coming back.
Crew support decided to give us the next plane that was scheduled to come in and have that crew wait and take the plane from the last crew due in for the night. It's hard to explain...basically robbing peter to pay paul kind of deal.
Anyway- while we were sitting in the flight operations room, we heard the next plane attempt to land. It didn't. Off it went to Eugene, just like the one before it.
Again we waited until the news came down that the last flight of the night had cancelled. I don't blame them. The weather was terrible. They've already sent 2 planes that failed, why send the third?
However, that means that my crew and I were stuck in North Bend while 2 planes crew were stuck in Eugene.
I would not want a scheduling job! What do you do?
Well, I'll tell you what they did. They shuttled us up to Eugene in a van and shuttled one of the diverted Eugene crews to North Bend. It's a 2.5 hour drive over a curvy mountainous pass. The van was so bumby that I nearly got sick!
Once we arrived at the airport in Eugene, we repositioned one of the divereted planes to Portland.
That was kinda cool for me. I got to sit in the cockpit and watch. Also I had on a headset so I could hear the guys talking to air traffic control.
We overnighted in Portland and deadheaded on a mainline flight to San Francisco the next day to end our trip. Pretty easy since I didn't really work the second half of the trip and got out of working 7 flights. Don't worry- I still got paid for it all.
More often than not, you get hosed in this job. It's nice to be on the other side once in a while. I suppose it all evens out.
Something interesting happened on that deadhead. I was sitting in the exit row and had out my Bible during the flight. I try to not make it obvious because I get a little uncomfortable. I don't want people to see me and think I'm trying to be better than everyone else...oh, look at her she's reading the Bible...she must think she's better than all us heathans! That's not true. It's just a good time for me to think, study and pray without distractions.
I was going over some of the verses Ray (our pastor) had been talking about on the message outline that they hand out every week. The week's message had to do with fear and breaking free from it.
I like to use the hotel paper to write down verses that I want to remember. The seat next to me was empty until one of the flight attendants sat down and asked me if I was studing the Bible. She asked me how I do it. So I explained to her in my shy stumbling way that I don't really have any rhime or reason, I just go through it as I feel led. Then she asked me if I've ever fasted. I answered honestly, no. I know people used to do that and some still do, but that's as much as I know.
Well, she had already looked into it. She proceeded to tell me that there are 5 different ways to fast. The first being 3 days without eating or drinking anything. The second is 21 days but you can have water and some fruit and grains. She said she has really been wanting to try it but was afraid.
I couldn't believe how fast the words came out of my mouth..."don't be afraid." It shocked me because of how bold it sounded...as if it was someone else talking.
I continued. "This has obviously been on your heart to do. You should do it. Don't be scared."
She repeated the word "scared" and pointed to the same word that was on my message outline and said.."scared. That's it...I'm scared." I explained how we had just started this new series at church about breaking the grip of fear in our lives. She asked me if I would write down some verses for her. Instead I gave her the outline and told her that there are already many verses on it about fear. She couldn't believe I was just giving this to her. She thanked me so much and gave me a hug. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, but it felt so good to share my faith with a stranger.
I am blown away with how God works in my life. Was this encounter a coincidence or does God set these things up? I don't know, but it sure felt like it was set up.
I know God wants to bless us. We get nudges to do the right thing. I remember one time asking God to make me a fence pusher. You know the term "sitting on the fence"...well a fence pusher is one of those people who push people to one side or the other. Not that I want to force my religion on anyone, cause I don't. But if anyone isn't sure...I know the way. It's Jesus. Let me point you in the right direction and get you off that fence!

Mission Trip?

2009-01-13T01:23:00.000-08:00

The more I see the world, the more I want to help it.

Amazing how much your view changes when the vail of ignorance is pulled away.

Not that long ago, I would have said, "don't send so much money to other countries when we have so many people suffering in our own backyard."

How stupid. How ignorant. We don't know the word poverty. Yes, we have many suffering people in America. But there is help for most of them.

Africa.

Megan has been asking me to take her there for well over a year. Upon her insistance we participated in Hope Walks (an event to raise money for kids in Africa who have become orphaned due to AIDS) She wants to go to Kenya.

This summer my Church is going to Kenya. Coincidence?

So here I am...praying and wondering if this is what God wants us to do. I wouldn't be able to use my free flight benefits. It's a group thing. I would have to raise the money. It's not cheap. But I suppose, if it's God's plan then I have nothing to worry about. The money will come. I provide the faith and he will do the rest.

My Church

2008-12-25T20:58:00.000-08:00

www.baysideonline.com

Check it out!!

A bit of historal Kathy fact:

I've been attending church all my life. Catholic church when I was young was all about sitting still for one whole hour so I could get an ice cream afterward. Once on my own I rebelled and stayed as far away from church as possible. Then something amazing happened that I will never forget. I may have written about it before. God saved my life. Litterally, saved my life. By telling me go home another way I avoided being involved in a bicycle vs car accident. I was 24 years old and pregnant with Megan. I started my investigation about this almighty God that so many people seemed to love. I remember going to a Nazarene church and noticing that most people looked like they really wanted to be there. They laughed and sang. This is not how Catholic service goes. I wanted to praise God that way but it felt fake. I didn't really know him yet. How could I sing with that much feeling? How do I get there?
It took time. God worked on me with each little situation. I could compare my journey to the process that happens when your eyes become adjusted to the darkness.
You know how when you first walk into a dark room you can't see anything? But slowly more and more things come into view. Eventually you can see everyting...even people who are entering with that same limited vision of which you once entered with.
It's like that with God.
Little by little I started noticing him. He was and has been doing things all around me. Sometimes it feels like he isn't there, but then something occurs to make me just go "wow" and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is a God and he is big!
I'm not always eliquent with my words...but you get the idea.

Now I've learned that not all churches are created equal. I've heard people say, i'm not getting fed spiritually at this church. What the crap does that mean? Church is about coming together to worship and learning God's word. All the other stuff is gravy. Do you not know that your own spiritual growth begins with your own effort? You're not a baby! You can feed yourself can't you? God has the best tasting food, but for heavens sake pick up your own fork and put it in your mouth man!!

I wasn't sure I'd like a big church, but there is something amazing about a several hundred people all singing and praising God in the same room. Also my pastor makes me laugh. He makes sense of the Bible and relates to our daily lives. He takes it literally and challenges me to become a devoted follower. I used to doubt that I had the ability to do that, but I don't anymore. It's not that hard. In fact, it's so easy.

one of my favorite songs to sing in church says this...

I am free to run
I am free to dance
I am free to live for you
I am free
I am free

New Readers Welcome!

2008-12-25T20:09:00.000-08:00

To those of you who have recently stumbled upon my humble blog...WELCOME!!

And to those who have been faithfully following along with me the last 4.5 years, THANK YOU!!

Life is a journey and I suppose this is the trail I leave behind.

Today is Christmas. I feel like I've been focusing so much on the true meaning of it the last month that I just sort of let myself relax and enjoy my family. I am one of the fortunate flight attendants that managed to get the holiday off. I did work a trip that went well into the early morning of the 24th. It was just a two day trip on the jet. We overnighted in Missoula. Did I mention that in the last post? Anyway- there is a story here...

We flew into Denver on the 23rd. No problems. We boarded ontime and took off for Durango, Co. Just as our wheels were down and you could see the runway, we aborted landing and began gaining altitude. In my mind I'm thinking...well, for some reason we couldn't land and I bet we are going to go around and try again. I was wrong. The captain came on the pa and announced we were going back to Denver. We couldn't land in Durango because snow plow equiptment was on the runway. We were not allowed to try again because if for some reason our second attempt failed, we wouldn't have enough gas to make it to our alternate airport, Denver.
My heart sank for everyone on my aircraft. I knew I'd be taking them back to a very stressful situation in Denver. Long lines and certain frustration trying to be booked onto flights that were already oversold with multiple standbys all trying to get home for the holiday.
Many of my passengers had already been inconvienced with earlier cancelled flights and was extremely happy to be on my flight when they boarded. I hated that this happened to them. A young lady sitting in 1B cried the entire way back, while the guy behind her kept blaming United for the error on the ground in Durango. How do you tell this passenger that the people who clear the runways are not employeed by United? And certainly whoever's bad timing it was to plow the runway is either getting fired or repremanded for causing a flight to turn and go back right before Christmas!
So there I was getting bombarded with green call button lights all down the cabin. What do I tell them? I'm sorry, but just telling them to talk to a customer service agent isn't good enough. I didn't sugar coat it. I tried to give hope by saying that you should never leave a flight that you are on standby for until it's gone. You never know. Lots of people misconnect and don't show up. However, spending more than a day in an airport really sucks. I suggested renting a car and driving home. It's a 6 hour drive in good weather. However, the mountain passes are caked with snow. It would be dangerous.
My heart still breaks for them and I hope they all got home safely and quickly.

The next day, we were supposed to leave Missoula at 4pm, but our plane coming in was late. 4.5 hours late! Finally we flew back to Denver. They made us swap planes which made us even later. We landed in Fresno at 1:30am. I just wanted to go home. So I downed 2 cups of coffee and drove home. I walked through my door at 5:15am. OY!!

You might be saying...Well, at least you probably picked up some overtime pay, right?
Wrong. I made a little extra money by being in the air a little longer, but overtime doesn't exist in my company unless they are desperate to cover a trip and offer you time and a half to work on your days off. I never do it. My time at home with my kids is way more valuable.

Seasonal flying sucks for all, but I try to make it better by smiling, staying positive and stuffing my co-workers with homemade Christmas cookies. :-)

Merry Christmas where ever you are and a Hope Filled New Year!!

replace fear with faith

2008-12-23T12:15:00.000-08:00

yesterday I got some good news and then bad news all in the span of about 5 minutes.

The good news came first...another flight attendant took my local on the 26th!! That's awesome, now I don't have to drive down to Fresno the day after Christmas just to do 4 flights.

The bad news is that I didn't win SIA. again...
It's the third time I've run for SIA (SkyWest Inflight Assosication). This time I tried to be elected into the scheduling/reserve representative postition. Again, the few (271 out of nearly 2000) flight attendants voted in the most senior. Immediately my heart broke. I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I couldn't bring my voice up to a normal pitch no matter how hard I tried. I thought about it on my three hour drive to Fresno to start a two day trip. Later that day on my last flight into Missula, Montana...I opened my Bible. I've been using my down time on the plane to study scripture.
The first thing I read was this...

"The spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom fro the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and to provide for those who grieve in Zion- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of despair." Isaiah 61:1-3

Isn't that cool? Taken in context (which you should always do) it was a very political statement. Isaiah was the one who propheisted the coming of the messiah and that he would be born from a virgin. This message states that the Lord will triump over their oppressors. I believe that when we open our Bibles with sincere desire for help, the Holy Spirit leads us to specific words that speak to us and gives us guidence for our daily lives.

After reading this I imagined the baby Jesus laying in the manger. He left Heaven where he had everything to be born in poverty because I needed him. I need him to bind my broken heart. I need him release me from prison walls. I need him to fight for me. I need him turn my mourning into rejoicing and praise. I need him to give me hope for the future. I need him lift me out of despair. Because of Jesus, I am free.

I can't tell you what a difference it has made in my life making the commitment to attend church every sunday. The girls are happier. My problems don't seem so big and I am thankful.

The other day, Kaytee said she couldn't wait to go to church this Christmas Eve. She has been volunteering every sunday morning in Pier 14, which the sunday school service for grades 1-4. She LOVES those little kids and they love her. She talkes about wanting to be a kindergarden teacher if photography doesn't work out.
This last sunday she had a present for me. It was a toilet paper roll wrapped up with a message inside. I unfolded a red piece of paper that said, "I love you" on it. Lately I've gotten more, I love you's than I hate you's. She took herself off meds about 4 weeks ago. We didn't know because she was spitting them out when we weren't looking. Luckily she is doing great. No cutting and no thoughts of suicide.

Let me end this post with a psalm:

"I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live." Psalm 116: 1-2

A hot girl who likes chicken sandwiches.

2008-11-10T22:30:00.000-08:00

Lucia, this ones for you. And thank you for the kind words in your last comment. You made my day. :-)

Prop 8? How do I see thee?

I think prop 8 is like a hot girl that happens to like chicken sandwiches. Let me explain...

A sweet young couple out on a date meet up at local restaurant for a late night meal. She really likes him, and perhaps went a little overboard on the short dress and high heels.
They finished their chicken sandwiches hours prior and haven't even noticed that time has been disappearing from the faded world around them.
Finally that dreaded moment has come. The one that puncuates with a heart pounding kiss and a reluctant goodbye.
On her way home, swimming in the thoughts of her love, the girl stumbles across the road without using the crosswalk. Little does she know that a man in a dark, unmarked car was watching her. Seconds later she is thrown into the backseat of a car. She would open the door and run, but there is no handle in this car, and even there was, she wouldn't be able to open it due to the cuffs cutting into both her wrists.
"What have you got there?" grunts the cop. "Dinner for me? Why, I don't mind if I do. Thanks!" as he gobbles down the second half of her tasty chicken sandwich. "I suppose this makes me your pimp!" he laughed to himself again.
"I'm not a hooker!"
"Yeah, sure your not. And my aunt patunia is a deep sea diver." The smell of his breath suggested otherwise.
Down at the station, the girl is thrown in with the rest of the evenings catch. A druggie, armed robber, purse snatcher and drunk driver.
"Okay toots, it's your turn..."
Standing in front of an old cranky judge who hasn't had a break in nearly 4 hours, the girl pleads that she is not a prostitute.
"Please judge...I'm a straight A student at the university. Ask any of the professors! I would never soliciate sex for money! I've never been arrested before. Please, look at my record!"
And she almost convinced the judge, until the truth was discovered.

"Is it true that you eat chicken sandwiches?" askes the judge.
Taken by surprise, the girl replies, "Uh, well, yes. yes I do. But what does..."

"TAKE HER AWAY! SHE'S GUILTY!"

Does this seem fair to you? But you see, the judge is a vegitarian.

There are many people in this world. God made them all. God made the earth, the heavens, the stars and so on.
We must live together. We are called to LOVE. Our country was founded on the freedom of religion and equal rights for all.
Just as everyone is entitled to a fair trial, so is everyone entitled to the choice to believe or not to believe.
Is it fair that the judge condemed the girl based on his own biased beliefs? He's a judge! We expect them to be impartial. When we vote, we judge. What kind of world do we live in when we judge others with our vote?
Not the world I want to live in, that's for sure.

Therefore, I voted NO on prop 8. Unfortunately it won.

BTW- I made that story up. :-)

Got A Voice?

2008-11-04T09:26:00.000-08:00

Want to know how I voted?

Let me put it this way....

I'm way down for the first black president.
I want to take a ride on fast train in California.
I believe in freedom of religion AND equal rights.
Who needs another monument?
Green house gases suck, but dirty politicians are worse.

What else was there?

I'm blessed to live in a country where we express our frustrations and opinions with a pen rather than a gun or a honk in the street instead of a bullet.

When all's said and done remember this...

If you didn't speak up today, then shut up tomorrow.

My life be like ...Gritz

2008-11-03T23:38:00.000-08:00

My life be like Ooh Ahh
CHORUS:
It's times like these that make me say,
Lord if you see me please come my way.
Leavin bread crumbs for when I stray
Rely on sacrifice and the price you paid
Feel me like a fingertip
(flow fingertip flow fingertip)
Sometimes I fall I slip
Got a heartfelt desire be more like you
Trying not to quench your fire by the things that i do

I'm on an island by my lonesome stranded
Low key and stayin’ candid
Reflectin on the things I try my hand at
Search for the equations to persuasions I'm used to
Findin comfort in the zones of closet bones I get loose to
A mountainous fontaine,
Spinnin and monsoonin
Grinnin its high octane
This worlds out wacky
Rollin down the hills cause lifes a hassle
Encircled by my folly like a moat surround a castle
Stay afloat,
Catch a second wind thin is the air I breathe
Teary-eyed nose runnin, wipe the snot on my sleeve
I'm callin on my savior to be all that I need
Please forgive me my behavior had me lost at light speed

CHORUS

The fear of never falling in love
And the tears after losing the feelings
Of what you thought love was
Like the dirt still up under the rug
(My life be like)
Bad characteristics covered in Christ's blood
The joy of new birth and the pain of growing up
The bliss between giving my all and giving up
The highs and lows,
Paths and roads I chose
In the cold I froze
Trying to ease my woes
In this world of sin
Clothes to thin to fend
So to God I send
Words of help to win
In grumblings so deep letters could never express
So the sounds of Ooh Ahh beneath my breath projects

CHORUS

My life be like (Toby Mac)

My life be like ooh aah ooh
Dum dum diddy
Here comes that boy from the capital city
Last up on the Grits new ditty
But eight bars of the truth will do, eh
I believe there's a pride thats stunning,
And I believe in the kingdom coming
I believe if you seek the truth,
You don't need to look far cuz it's gonna find you

So why, oh why, do I trip and stumble?
And ooh ahh as commitments crumble?
I can't believe that I'm here again?

Happy Halloween

2008-10-30T18:23:00.000-07:00

Hello all!

Forgive me for my long hiatis. My computer is offically dead. The hard drive quit and I don't want to fix it because I would lose all my data. I'm thinking I might buy the asus netbook computer. Have you seen em? They are small (the size of a book) laptop that has very little memory, but are more than adequate for internet and email. They cost between 3 to 4 hundred dollars.

Right now I'm in Oxnard. That's not far from L.A. just in case you were like me a few years ago and would have said...."Oxnard? Where the heck is that?"

Tomorrow I work 4 flights on the brasilia and end up in St. George, Utah. That's where our headquarter offices are. I've never been there, but my plan is to pop in wearing my beautiful navy blue and gold mask I bought in Venice with a bag full of candy to pass out. Believe it or not, I want to thank crew support for a favor they did for me. They gave me a free hotel room one time when I was stuck in L.A. once. They didn't have to do it and I wasn't even on duty! SkyWest Rocks!!!

Also, I just purchased a bunch of candy at Target to hand out to my passengers. Shhh, I'm not supposed to do this. Trick or Treat?

Crashed

2008-09-22T20:53:00.001-07:00

No, it's not what you think. :)

My computer crashed 3 weeks ago and I haven't had the chance (or the money) to get it fixed.
I am currently using the computer behind the counter at the hotel in Chico, Ca.

I've done this same trip for the third week in a row. Not a bad trip, pays well, but the overnights are short...barely enough time to sleep.

Anyway, I've been spending every last second I can with the girls on my days off. Kaytee is enrolled in a charter school which offers independent study. She meets with her teacher every other week. It seems like it will be a good fit for her...however, I hope it will be temporary. I want to get her back at Capital next semester, but I won't push it if her grades are up and emotions are stable. Why rock the boat?

Anyway- sorry for the long pause.

Real quick, cause I'm tired...want a few tidbits? Okay...

Today I embarrassed myself again. Not to bad this time...I do it a lot.

During the boarding process in Coo's Bay, Oregon, I tried to stay as far away from the door as our tiny plane would allow due to the fridged misty, wet weather outside. While closing the door, I managed to dodge several large plops of dirty water that rained from the swinging steps of the door. This meant that I had to crowd the lady seated in 1B. Just after starting my announcement, I was hit!
Instinctively, I reacted with a sound that immediately got everyone's attention. It went something like this...

And once again welcome on board flight #5763 with service to San Francisco. In command of your aircraft today is Captain UHHHH!!!!!

I picked it up quickly as everyone had thier giggle. Once I was done I laughed at myself too.

Well, ya gotta laugh. That's all you can do sometimes.

BTW- I had a line check yesterday. Her exact words were, "I can't find anything wrong with you."
I hope I can hear those same words from my doctor when I'm 80. :)

Take care friends. I'll update this when I can.

School is in, Kaytee is out

2008-08-26T12:48:00.000-07:00

I won't tell you what happened.

Kaytee has been out of school the last two days...suspended.

I have an appointment with her school tomorrow morning. So far I've taken away her phone forever and gave her some chores to do, including cleaning off some major bird poop from my car.

On a good note...I have a new phone. My 2 year agreement was up and to keep you from ditching their network, verizon gives a 100 credit towards a new one. Plus I got an additional $50.00 off this phone. The LG dare. sweet. I wasn't sure about a touch screen phone...but so far I love it!

As for work, it's always nice coming home. However, the stress from 2 teenage daughters is taking a toll. I actually spanked (not hard) Megan last night for extreme disrespect and calling me a bad name.

Uh. I suppose it could be worse. It could always be that.

Tomorrow I have to fly down to Fresno so I can start a 4 day trip early Thursday morning. Then I have a 2 day trip before I can come home again. I need the money after my spending spree in Italy.

Yeah, rough life. :-)

There shall be no more complaining from me. No matter what gets dumped my way....I make the choice. I still chose happiness.

Venice

2008-08-15T09:22:00.000-07:00

Florence aka Firenze

2008-08-15T08:34:00.000-07:00

Pisa & Monterosso

2008-08-14T23:45:00.000-07:00

Italy pictures ROME

2008-08-14T15:00:00.000-07:00

ITALY

2008-08-02T11:38:00.000-07:00

Oh boy! Oh boy!

We are going to ITALY!! Our plans have changed a little. Now the girls and I are leaving this Monday morning. I am both excited and scared. Completely excited to drench myself in art and italian beauty... but afraid of how much it will cost me. The euro is expensive right now and everything is so much more expensive over there. A cheap hotel will still run me over $150.00 a night. Plus train tickets, food and tickets to see everything. I might have to spend a little for plane tickets if couch is oversold. But hey, $120.00 to fly first class is amazing!

I hope I don't spend more than 2 grand!

Check back in a few weeks for pictures!

Wharf to Wharf race in Santa Cruz

2008-08-02T11:26:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday (July 27th) I ran the Wharf to Wharf 10k in Santa Cruz.

The weather was perfect. Chilly and foggy. By noon the fog burned off, making it possible for everyone to enjoy summer's most pleasurable pastime...the beach!

The race itself was really fun. 52 bands dotted the 6 mile route and colorful balloon banners marked each mile point.

The only downside was how many runners there were. 15 thousand!!!

Even though I ignored the suggestions of where to line up at the starting line (they wanted you to start with other runners with the same mile pace...6 minute mile, 7, 8, 9, 10...etc. ) I couldn't run at the pace I wanted to because it was just to crowded. At the first turn I even had to stop due to the backup. It was like rush hour traffic! The first half of the race I was pretty stressed out that I would get tripped.

So my time sucked. I made up some of it in the last half. I crossed the finish line at 1 hour 16 seconds.

Would I do it again? Oh yeah. It was fun. You don't do this one for time anyway.

Boston?

2008-08-02T11:10:00.000-07:00

Did I mention that I went to Boston?

It was a while ago...June, I think. Anyway- I flew out there for a friend's wedding. Let me just say that I LOVED Boston...at least in the summer time. :-)

your opportunity to change the world

2008-07-24T10:53:00.001-07:00

This has been an interesting trip.

Yesterday I had an older couple board my plane. They were grumpy, sour people. They both sat in the wrong seat and then complained about it.

"We didn't ask to sit here!"

When I discovered the error, I asked them to please move to their assigned seats because the man who did ask for that row has long legs and needed the extra space in the bulkhead.

Grumble, grumble...

After my duties were finished, I poured myself a cup of coffee. I considered pulling out the magazine "Budget Travel, Italy" that I had just purchased, but instead settled on engaging my grumpy couple in conversation. They looked bored.

"So, you've had a rough day, huh?" That's how I usually start my plan of attack. I get them talking about what a terrible experience they've had flying around. Sympathy works well. In this case they were tired and were looking forward to going home after a family reunion. Oh! that explains it! Of course everyone is tired...but a family reunion is enough to drive anyone past the point of no return.

We ended up talking the entire flight and it turns out that they are practically my father's neighbors. Small world.

My evil plan worked. hahaha. By the time they left my plane, fits of laughter trailed behind them. I won the challenge! Victory is sweet.

Good news and not so bad news

2008-07-15T11:59:00.000-07:00

The bad news is that I will not be attending the writers conference in Portland at the end of this month.

That's it for bad news. :)

Now for the good news....

Italy is just around the corner! August 7-13th. Venice, Florence, Rome!! I can't wait.

Also, there is another writers conference happening near Yosemite the third week of August. I hope I can go. But only if I can get the weekend off and if I can afford it. These conferences are kinda expensive. $400.00 not including hotel.

But I really want to further my writing abilities. Plus I want to talk to editors, publishers & other writers. I am interested in learning how I can get into freelance writing. Currently I'm writing for free. I just submitted my 5th article to the SIA flyer. Although it gets me noticed at work, I'm not getting paid for it. It would be nice to turn this "I just gotta write" feeling into cold hard cash! It would be another step towards financial stability...and who doesn't want that?

Use what ya got man.

"I hate you...I wish you would die in a plane crash. If I had a knife or a gun, I'd kill you right now."

2008-07-13T17:28:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of hearing it. It hurts every time. Especially when said (or yelled) in front of others. But don't worry about me, I've constructed a temporary emotional wall that protects me from dragon fire.

My shield is simple. I tell myself this...

"She doesn't mean it. I'm a good person."

These 8 words are powerful. I use them to repair my self esteem instead of firing back with equally harsh words.

The good news is that Kaytee has begun her walk with the Lord. I hear God telling me to be patient. Kaytee has only just begun and has issues to work out. I know God is helping her and that in time, she will be fine. In the meantime, my job is to love her and keep her safe (no matter how much she hates me for it). That's just what parents do.

I will stay the course. The path each parent strives to walk when dealing with their teenager. It's a tight rope, for sure. I pray that I will not grow weary. I know that God will give me strength.

Isn't it funny?

2008-06-19T15:54:00.000-07:00

You want an update? Okay....

I'm working, flying, singing, dancing, laughing and writing.

Well, at least the first and last two are true.

Working....being based in FAT seems to be working out for me. I have FINALLY figured out PBS and managed to land myself a pretty decent schedule for July. I will be working 5 trips that are 4 days long. I have 13 days off with 93.10 credit hours. That's a lot. I'm doing this to earn some money for our trip to Italy in early August. In September I want to go to Puru to check out Manchu Pichu.

I know, you're jealous, right? I'm sorry. I really don't mean to rub this in, but I LOVE my job! Last week I expressed my interest in being considered for a LEAD instructor position here at SkyWest. I will probably go through an interview process and tested. If selected, I will train to become one of those FA's that helps new hires on their first IOE (initial operating experience) trips.

Also, I have another article that was recently published in the SIA flyer. "Fish burps and bowling balls". Did I ever mention it? I wrote it a year ago, but it's just now getting noticed. I wonder if the one I wrote after that will ever be seen? "Pork and Cheese, if you please!"

Writing...3 days ago I was flying from SFO to FAT. I began writing another article. This one is less funny and more serious. I'm not sure the senior FA's are going to like it. I am a friendly, passenger oriented type of FA and I don't like fake and heartless FA's that pretend to care. This article cuts to the chase and demands a little sympathy for our flying public. Although it does seem like many passengers check their brains along with their bags...as a FA, you get what you give.

I do have something awesome to share with you.

The other day I was driving to SFO. It had been a LONG time since I broke out my worship cd's and listened to them in the car. I prayed to God most of the trip. Just as I approached the Bay Bridge my phone rang. It was Capital Christian High School. I was not expecting a phone call from them since it is now summer time and school is out.
She wanted to know if I had gotten an email notification about a fundraiser. She also wanted to know how Kaytee was doing. We talked for a while and just before saying good-bye, prayed for Kaytee and our family. In the prayer she thanked God for giving Kaytee a mother who was faithful and dedicated to her children.
After we hung up, I cried. I knew that God was using this women to speak to me.

Lord, you lift me up. You are solid as a rock and you carry me. Thank you.

Now, just two more things...I am hoping to sign up for a writer's conference in August. Oh, I hope it isn't the same time as my trip to Italy??? I better check on that!

Also, I am still running. Perhaps not as much as before...but twice a week is not to bad. I am signed up for a race next month.

Recurrent 2008

2008-05-21T10:55:00.000-07:00

Last year I did everything perfect.

This year I barely passed.

What was the problem? I didn't study enough. Actually, I didn't PRACTICE enough. I knew my prepared cabin announcement and I did fairly well on the final exam. (I missed 3 out of 50 questions). I even answered my scinero question perfectly.

But when it came time to go through the entire thing one on one with my instructor??? I flopped.

We had to prepare the cabin for a water landing on the CRJ 900 as the forward flight attendant. I stumbled through the NTSBO (which is basically the briefing from the captain when there is an emergency and we have time to prepare for an evacuation).
Then I stumbled through the first half of my duties. I redeemed myself for the rest of it and managed to pass this portion of the test. However, he called it "weak".

The second portion was an unplanned water evacuation on the CRJ 900 (my most highly qualified aircraft). I kept forgetting to turn on my emergency lights, I couldn't get the commands right and it didn't even occur to me to check the lav.
I failed.

He told me to come back the next morning early for one more chance.

My friend, Savanna failed the same portion. We felt pretty low as we drove back to David's house (that's where Savanna rents a room and I used to rent it with her when I was based here in Fresno right after new hire training 2 years ago).

So what did we do?

What every girl does to lift her spirits. We went shopping. I was also feeling pretty brave and decided to eat half a candy bar. Wow, I didn't get sick. Maybe dairy again someday?

After that we all went out to pizza (no, I wasn't THAT brave!) When I say "we all" I mean everyone who pretty much lives at David's house....Matt (a pilot) and his girlfriend (Jasmine), David, Savanna and I. Of course I don't live there anymore. There was one person missing...another pilot named Rob.

Once back home, David made us practice the unplanned water evac until we had it down pat! I was exhuasted! He kept saying..."That was good, Okay, do it again".

The next morning we both aced it!

We spent the rest of the morning going over CRM (crew resource management), evacs and security with the pilots. Then it was all over.
I was happy to have passed. Next year I will be more prepared.

Savanna and I treated ourselves to a nice lunch at a Japanese restaurant where the cook your food in front of you. Then we stopped over at a friends house (another flight attendant who was in our recurrent class) to talk and hang out.

Don't Worry

2008-05-17T11:52:00.000-07:00

I have much to worry about...as usual.

Michael is in the hospital again. Another attempt to end his life.

Kaytee broke down at school again, saying she wanted to die. She feels that if her dad dies it will be her fault because she yelled at him. Of course I'm trying to convince her it's not true.

I am scheduled for my annual recurrent training this Monday. I have so much studying to do.

But, I am singing Bob Marley's "Don't worry about a thing... cause every little thing gonna be alright."

Please God, no more drama?

Heartbreak for China

2008-05-12T20:01:00.000-07:00

My heart is breaking for China.

Today's earthquake has killed so many people. I am in shock. I can't comprehend it. I think about how big China is and want to cry.

I think about the people I saw and the people I met. How beautiful their faces were. How they love Americans and made me feel welcome. At first many seem sad, busy or even angry, until I smiled and tried to speak to them. All of a sudden their scowl fades and relaxing into a huge grin.

The children were so cute with bare butts showing...(toddlers don't wear diapers, they have slits in their pants). I hate to think that some of these people might be dead now.

I think of how hard everyone was working. Building and repairing structures. Did the earthquake destroy all their efforts? I think about their living conditions and how bad some of them had it. Now I am wondering if they even have that now?

Our hotel was traditional and by American standards would be considered "shabby" but I knew I was living in a palace compared to those around me. I had a bed, a shower and a western toilet.

We walked by a school that was several stories high. Did it fall?

I feel sad.

Lord, please bring comfort to those who are broken. Please let folks work together to show love and compassion.

People of China

2008-05-12T19:33:00.001-07:00

Chinese chess is big deal here. Megan said the gold man statue looks like he's farting.
This lady made the best food! I loved these steamed dumplings!
Our small group and tour guides for our day hike to the Great Wall.
locals in a small village near the Great Wall
Our tour guide "Nemo" giving Michelle a lesson in ordering chinese food.

Beijing Zoo

2008-05-12T19:24:00.000-07:00

The Temple of Heaven

2008-05-12T19:14:00.001-07:00

The Forbidden City, Beijing, China

2008-05-12T19:01:00.001-07:00

The Great Wall

2008-04-30T18:24:00.001-07:00

China

2008-04-20T15:39:00.000-07:00

Hi folks,

I'm leaving for Beijing this Wednesday. Kaytee doesn't want to go, so it will be Megan, Joe & I. We are coming back on Tuesday April 29th.
Plans include, the great wall, the forbidden city, tombs, museums, the beijing zoo, the pearl and silk market, and great food!

Don't worry- we'll take lots of photos.

Good Bye Ned

2008-04-20T15:32:00.001-07:00

I just found out that one of my favorite pilots died last Thursday in a small plane crash. I'm not sure of the details...he was flying with a student.

Ned was a great guy. I will remember his bright smile and his funny ties.

Most pilots stick with the standard black tie, but not Ned. He wore bright happy ties during holidays and a red, white & blue patriotic tie on most days. He was always smiling.
He was the kind of captain that cared and treated everyone with respect. He wasn't vain or arrogent. I believe he had a family with young children.

He will be sorely missed.

The miracle I asked for...

2008-04-10T11:21:00.000-07:00

For months I've been asking God to make himself real to Kaytee.

Yesterday it happened!

I'm very excited to tell you that God healed my daughter. Well, at least her foot. Which gives new meaning to the phrase..."a foot in the door".

Let me explain it quickly. Kaytee has been struggling with a planters wart on the bottom of her foot. It was located in a difficult spot on her heal. The podiatrist tried killing it with topical acid, but with no success. On Monday of this week, she did the procedure (they call it surgery) to remove it. Damn, the poor girl. You'd think she's been through enough!

Monday was also the same day she was discharged from Sutter Physciatric Center where she had spent 6 days of out patient therapy. Tuesday she returned to her school on crutches.

Now, back to the miracle. Every Wednesday her school hold "Chapel" services. On this particular day, which was yesterday, they asked if anyone wanted to come up to pray for healing. Samantha urged Kaytee to go up for her foot. Kaytee thought that was a stupid idea, but Sam insisted. Reluctantly, Kaytee hobbled up there and immediately 10 or so people followed her and laid hands on her. Everyone prayed...including Kaytee. I personally think she was praying for more than just for her foot to stop hurting.

The next part blew her away. She told me that she felt the pain leave her body. She said it was "creepy" but I know what she meant cause I've felt that feeling before.. it's when you know something happened that doesn't seem possible. But that's what He does. He does the impossible.

The pain was gone and she walked on her foot the rest of the day. I laugh inside cause I get a visual of her throwing her crutches and shouting "it's a miracle...I can walk!" Although I'm sure that's NOT how it happened. Still, I get a chuckle anyway.

She also said that another girl in their class who had a speech impairment, walked away from Chapel without it.

God made himself real to Kaytee. Thank you for your awesomeness!!!!!

Face Time

2008-03-30T12:39:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday I got a phone call from my mother-in-law, Ginger.

6:26am

"Kaytee's gone. I went in to wake her up for school and found a note on her bed."

I instantly felt like throwing up.

The first thing I thought of were her friends. They will know where she is. But then I realized that I don't have their numbers. So I called my sister and my friend, Devona. I asked Devona...at what point do I call the police?

"Now!"

Multi tasking skills were put to the test. Dress, call police, pray, cry, drive and pray some more.

I hurried down to Sacramento as fast as I could, leaving frantic messages on the phones of family who didn't answer.

I went through her stuff for clues. Devona rushed over and got info out of her kid, Samantha (Kaytee's best friend who goes to Capital Christian)
Over the couple hours we learned that Kaytee left the house at 12:30 with a boy named "Sam" and his friend that could drive. We also learned that Kaytee sent a text to Samantha at 6:15 am, which only said "I think I made a mistake."

Soon, 2 shariffs deputies arrived at Ginger's house. I found out the boys last name and gave all the info (including a description of Kaytee) to the shariff.

I continued to send text messages to Kaytee to let her know the police are looking for her and this boy who took her. She sent back a text that said, "Chill mom. I will come back tonight."

I got mad. Little shit!!! but incredibly relieved that she was not dead.

The deputy called her and left a message. Then he sent her a text. She apparently scared enough to call him back. He was firm with her and got her to tell him where she was. I listened as he told her to be waiting on the curb. "We'll be there in 8 minutes and you better be waiting. If you're not, there's gonna be trouble."

Devona and I followed their patrol car to a dumpy neighbor on the other side of interstate 80.

Tears poured down my face when I caught sight of her.

I waited. I didn't want her to see me yet. Both deputies got out and talked with her. They put her in the back on the patrol car and came over to talk with me.

"We're going to let her sit there and marinate for a minute while we go in and talk to who ever is in that house."

After a couple big knocks on the door, they got out their monster sized flashlight and beat on it with the back end. Finally someone opened the door, but I couldn't see who. The cops were in there for about 20 minutes.

When they came out, they told me that Kaytee had been with 5 "knuckleheads" but it didn't look like any debotchery had been going on and that the boys had never been in trouble before. Kaytee comfirmed to me later that nothing bad happened, but she didn't sleep because she didn't trust anyone there.

They took her out of the car and I got out of mine. I hugged her and told her I loved her. Then I gave her a little push in the back of the neck and whispered, get in the car.

After speaking with the cops a little more, we drove back to Ginger's in silence.

I have much more to write, but my battery is dying. I took emergency leave and dropped my next trip to give her tons of face time. Tomorrow Kaytee will be admitted into a physc center. She wants to go and we both know it will be beneficial.

This is no time to be whimpy, Kathy. (I tell myself).

Sometimes you fall

2008-03-19T10:18:00.000-07:00

The other day (St. Patricks Day) I went out for a run. My knee started hurting right away and I decided to take it slow. Half way through, I saw what looked like a little green man trip me. I fell hard in the dirt.

My right side took most of it, but my left knee is the most torn up. It was the hardest fall I've taken so far. I think I heard a voice laughing.

I sat there for a moment and cried. Not so much because it hurt...but because I don't want to have to give up running. It felt like something was trying to make me stop.

I prayed. Please God, don't take it away from me.

Then I noticed someone walking up the trail towards me. I suddenly felt embarrassed to be sitting on the ground crying, so I wiped away my tears and got up. Brushing off the dust, I started walking back home before he could catch up to me. I walked most of the way home, but jogged a little just for the sake of being stubborn.

Latest Pics

2008-03-06T20:10:00.000-08:00

San Diego Zoo
San Diego Zoo
Sea World in San Diego
Sea World
Ski Trip To Lake Tahoe for my birthday
Ski Trip to Tahoe, me and Joe
Ski Trip to Tahoe, James, Geff & Eric

The way I am is who I used to be

2008-03-06T19:38:00.000-08:00

What changes take place in the minutes and seconds that pass like a raging river through the coursing viens of our lives? Do we feel any different at the end of our suffering? When the concept of time eludes us and the narrowness of space becomes a withering image of a memory, what are we left with? Each splintering decision evokes consequence and the envidable result leaves me to wonder...what if?

What do I think about when my service is complete and those who couldn't resist the lulling rock and occasional bump inflight sink into a deep and somewhat hypnotic sleep? I have choices folks. I could catch up on the latest Hollywood gossip, eat, go to the bathroom, read a book, read a science magazine, write or just think.
I tend to do the last 2 more than anything else. I have many random tidbits that I've written in a trashed up notebook just waiting for a rainy day when they will transform from an ugly catipillar into a beautiful butterfly. And wait they will. Why? Oh, lack of confidence that I try to report as "busy". I think all the time. Thoughts collide with images that create more thoughts and on and on.

The truth is, I'm no different than I was 5 years ago. Write the damn thing Kathy! It's in you and nobody else. To my credit, I have gotten further. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Annie will have an ending. What good is the promise of a sweet strawberry in the dead of winter if the ground is caked in oil?

An old forgotten thought

2008-02-20T23:09:00.000-08:00

Here is a piece of an old post I wrote back in May of '06. Funny how some feelings don't change...

"I thought about how badly I wanted to fly. So many times I've wished I could run so fast that my feet would leave the ground. Fear stops me sometimes. No, I should say it slows me down. It's nothing but drag. Shake it Kathy...and let your imagination take you to the places you've created in the small narrow cracks of your dreams.
They are there...waiting for you to visit. Yes, I talk to myself. Call me crazy if you wish, but crazy lives on the brink of genius."

Hives? are you serious?

2008-02-20T21:29:00.000-08:00

So yesterday Megan and I boarded our Southwest flight from San Diego to Sacramento. It was 5pm. We had a wonderful time at the Zoo and Sea World (pictures to come).

Before the plane left the ground I started scratching. First my armpits...then my torso. Soon it was my legs and my neck. I have never broken out with hives before, but that's exactly what was happening to me.

When we got home, I took a shower...foolishly thinking I could wash off the itch while my entire body remained covered in welts and splotches.

Oh, that's attractive.

Admitting defeat, I took an allergy pill and went to bed.

In the morning I found no relief so I called the doctor. Within 2 hours I was in the office scratching and coughing while a new symptom was fighting for my attention...a sore neck.

I also had a fever. Diagnosis? A virus for the cold symtoms (duh) and hives from something I came into contact with that I am very allergic to. (duh) Of course it would be way to difficult to figure out what that is. Probably something at Sea World. Of course... why didn't I think of that? Oh yeah, I did.

Why do we go to the doctor? It's like we are mostly certain of what is wrong with us, but just in case...

However, he gave me an allergy pill that worked so much better than my over-the-counter...make you feel like your head isn't attached to your body...allergy medicine. So that's good. He perscribed me a steriod too...just in case the super-charged, but extremely tiny miricle pill didn't do the trick. Thankfully, I won't need it. I don't like taking any drugs if I don't absolutely have to. Makes you wonder what is in that stuff they hand over for free, doesn't it?

Well, good night folks. Another day, another adventure. I love life...including the ups and downs, bumps and bruises.

BTW- my birthday is in 2 days. February 22nd. I will be 37. Holy crap.

And the drum beat goes like this...

2008-02-17T20:43:00.000-08:00

I wanted hours? I got hours!!

I worked 20 minutes shy of 60 flight hours so far this month. Folks, that a lot for my job. I have also been doing a lot of driving.
Stress has been high level, despite my efforts to vear away from it...

Not enough rest has worn me down. I cough, I sneeze, I blow my nose then I cough some more.

Time for a break?

Megan has the week off of school. I asked her where she'd like to go. "The world's your limit. (and my bank account...) So Megan, where to?

San Diego.

Ok. you got it. San Diego Zoo and maybe Sea World. I found a hotel and providing I can pick up the standby ticket that I ordered last minute, we'll fly down there tomorrow morning on Southwest.

Anything else?

For daddy to get better.

Yeah, I'd like that too. I've been worried about MB. Last week he overdosed on perscription blood pressure medication and ended up spending the entire week strapped to a bed in intensive care. I really thought he was going to die and I'd never get to speak with him again. It is so hard to watch someone do this to themselves when there isn't a darn thing you can do to stop it. At this point any attempt I make to talk with him would set him back. Therefore I haven't tried.

Today his parents took him to a halfway house. I pray for him and hope he stays there as long as possible instead of convincing himself he's all better and checks out in a week. He's been sick a long time. Severely depressed.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

That's the version I know, but here's the original...

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

What's happening now...

2008-02-03T20:47:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone!

I am in Calgary. It's my first overnight being based back in Fresno. I drove down yesterday and hung out with Savanna since she started a trip this morning too.
We went out for dinner (Claim Jumper) and watched a movie in the bedroom since the other roomates were already watching something in the living room. We put in "Hitch". I love that movie!

As for my health...I went to that obygn apt thinking I was going to have a follow up pap test. Nope. Instead my new doctor (because my other one retired) decided it would be a waste of time. Almost an hour later, I was having a prodcedure done. Colopsy. No, not the colon! Basically, he looked at the canal of my cervic through a microscope after applying a vinger solution on it so that the bad cells will show up. It hurt. Of course the bad cells made their appearance and he took a biopsy of them. Now what? I go back on the 15th for another procedure...cyrotherapy. Yep, they are going to freeze those cells now. I sure hope this takes care of it. Third times a charm.

Don't even ask how the divorce is going. Uh, I am expecting it to be final by my birthday. Hopefully. I just want to get on with life so I can have all this fighting behind us. The girls need it to be done too. MB is angry with me right now over money and is wanting to continue fighting. His health is declining and I have to admit that I'm concerned. I know there is only 1 thing I can do...pray. Please Lord, help Michael get well and be happy without me. Bring people into his life that can help. Thank you.

Happy 15th Birthday Kaytee!

2008-01-25T10:29:00.000-08:00

The Maui Race

2008-01-17T10:28:00.000-08:00

From the copter
Beautiful sunset
This picture doesn't do it justice. The waterfalls I saw from the helicopter were amazing! We also flew right into a rainbow. I only got a bit sick feeling when the pilot kept flying in circles so that we could all see the whales.

In short, I ran the 9.2 mile race in 1 hour and 33 minutes. It was a beautiful run, but my knee is really messed up. I have to go see a doctor before I will run again.

Maui is (of course) beautiful! I flew in on Friday morning and immediately headed for the heliport. We have an agreement with Alex Air and I decided I wanted to go for a senic tour around the island. Luckily they had an empty seat and I got to sit up front on my first helicopter ride. It was awesome!!

The next day I spent most of it on the beach in Lahina.

As for the race...9.2 miles that started in Napaili and ended in Lahina. It was a wonderful run. I never posted this, but I messed up my knee a little while ago and have been resting it until the race, hoping it would just turn out to be something minor.
Well....it started hurting before the first mile. I didn't stop. By the third mile the pain went away. I was so happy and spent the next 5 miles enjoying the view. The last mile almost killed me! I had taken to much water at the aid stations and was feeling very sick.

I crossed the finish line with a time of 1:33:45 and threw up. Not exactly the way I wanted to finish...but hey, at least I didn't stop. I ran the whole race.

The rest of the day I ached in pain as my knee flared up with great intensity. Now I must find time to go have it checked out. But man, was it worth it! Running in Maui...does it get any better than that? I don't think so.

One more thing...

2008-01-04T13:42:00.000-08:00

I'm going to Maui next week. Here's why...

www.maui15k.com

BTW...

2008-01-04T13:40:00.000-08:00

I GOT AWARDED MY TRANSFER TO FRESNO!!

No more reserve for me! I will be bidding for the Feburary schedule. I have tons of seniority there.

The secret is happy thoughts

2008-01-04T13:16:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR? Yes, it sure will be!

I'm reading a book that my mother swears works. It's called "The Secret".

It explains the power of possitive thoughts. It kinda goes with what I've said all along...

"Happiness is a choice you make daily."

Basically it says that the law of attraction determines your life. You are what you think. If you think negative "bad" thoughts then that is what you will attract to your life. But if you think happy thoughts then happy things will come to you.

It is true that bad things happen. You'd all agree that I've been through my fair share, but dwelling on it... in my opinion, only makes more bad things happen. Have I really been making it worse by asking for what I don't want? Time to change the frequency of my thoughts.

Yesterday I put this theory into practice. I had to take Kaytee to a doctors appt. We were supposed to be early to do paperwork, but with a bad storm coming in and not knowing where the place was, I didn't think that was going to be possible. I repeated over in my head..."I want to be ontime." We ended up being 10 minutes early.

I think the secret is to not worry. Keep your thoughts with what you do want...not focusing on what you don't want. The book says you should vision the events you want to happen and that will become reality. I'm not convinced of that...but hey, it couldn't hurt right?

Don't worry...be happy!

Power Animal

2007-12-29T14:14:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine went to a soltice party and picked up this card for me....

It read:

"Your personal power animal for 2008 is the Eagle. The Eagle's power includes creativity, vision and extreme experiences. These experiences can be transforming under the eye of the Eagle so stay connected with the earth even as you soar with the gods and bring a new vision for humanity."

It's a win-win situation

2007-12-29T14:08:00.001-08:00

SWEET!!!!SWEET!!!!SWEET!!! I LOVE THIS CAR!!!

And the best part is that my mom LOVES her "new" car!!!

Merry Chirstmas & Happy New Year

2007-12-25T23:20:00.000-08:00

Wow. Christmas already. I hope yours was terrific!

I worked a local today. I kissed all my passengers!.....with the Hershey variety, that is. It was funny. I'd ask someone if they'd like a kiss and watch for their reaction before handing over the chocolate. Everyone seemed amused by my playful holiday greeting.
On the shorter flights where I wouldn't offer a beverage, I'd tell them "I'm sorry, this is not a beverage flight so I'll be giving out kisses instead."

Now on to the new year. 2008. It's gotta get better right? Isn't that what I said last year?

MB got another DUI last week. Uhhh....

However, I am getting a new car this Thursday. Yeah. Tomorrow I am driving my trooper up to Oregon where I will give it to my mother and then pick up my Honda Civic '07 that is waiting for me. It has 9k miles and is fully loaded...so I've been told. I haven't actually seen it, but I've already put money down on it. It's silver. The reason I've been so gung ho about that particular car is that I'm getting it at the employee rate. She's my cousin...wink, wink.

So I'm pretty stoked about that. Also I've put in my transfer for Fresno. I've had enough of Sacramento. I'll NEVER hold a line here and even if I did, the trips suck. Even crazy senior FA's here are not liking their schedule or getting enough hours. So that's it...back to commuting for me. 3 hour drive to Fresno from here. O'well...at least I'll have a nice new car that gets good gas mileage.

2008 could be a good year. I hope so.

I'm sorry I haven't been writing on this blog. It's been crazy for me lately. But if you can bare with me, I'll try to post more often. I have so many stories and things to tell you!!!!
Plus I never finished my trip to Portugal saga. I am planning another trip to Maui soon. There is a 15k race that sounds completely amazing! Yes folks, I still run. It keeps me sane.

CORRECTION: Someone who wanted to remain anonymous pointed out that I said Sacramento trips"suck" and remembered that I used to oppose that sort of negativity. Well, you are right and I guess I'm not perfect. I have been frustrated with being a reserve in SMF, but NO they do not suck. There. Happy? I am.

Good Bye Grandpa Larry

2007-12-14T14:43:00.001-08:00

December 12th. 2 days ago I held your hand, stroked your hair and watched you leave this world. You were an exceptional man. We loved you dearly. Good Bye Grandpa. I hope you're in Heaven with Grandma.

Am I bad?

2007-11-30T00:13:00.000-08:00

I know....

where is the world have I been?

Actually- I haven't been doing much work at all lately. The problem has been my internet connection. I don't have one. Right now I am in Canada. Finally I got a trip added to my schedule. However, it's after midnight and I'm exhausted. I'll try to post something tomorrow. We'll see. I still haven't finished the last post...and I was just getting to the good part.

In other news....Today the house closed escrow!!! Yipee, me so happy. Come on...don't I look happy? Sure I do.

The divorce is slow going. Lawyers!

I believe the next step is filing a motion in court for child support and alimony payments. When will this crap be over? Easy girl...easy.

One last thing...I need a new car. I am giving my beloved trooper to my mother. She needs a car worse than me. I am thinking of transfering back to Fresno and I need a car with excellent gas mileage. Any ideas? I'm thinking a Hyundai Elantra. I would love a Honda civic hybrid, but I can't afford it. I have about 15-16 grand to spend. Yes, I'm paying cash. No more debt for me!!!

Adventurous Annie takes on Lisbon!

2007-11-20T17:20:00.000-08:00

This is going to be a LONG post. You've been warned!!

October 27th

It's our last day in Lisbon. Toni and dad made plans to visit the town of Fatima. It's pretty much a catholic shrine. I would have gone along, but it was our last day and I was not big on the idea of spending another couple hundred Euros it would take in transportation, sights and food. Besides, Megan still needed to see an art gallery for school and Kaytee wanted to go back and explore the mall some more.
So the girls and I slept in! We ate breakfast in the hotel restaurant. It was free. Thank goodness cause it took me 3 tries to figure out the coffee machine! The first cup was WAY to strong. I would have had a heart attack if forced to drink it. The second came out with milk in it. Third times a charm. I wised up and filled a large mug with 1 shot of expresso then continued with hot water and a couple packets of sugar. Ahhh, coffee.
We stepped outside and took our pictures in front of this wall that is part of the hotel. Not all of the characters fit in the picture, so you get an idea of it's size. BIG!
Next, I consulted the map and we drafted a rough plan for the day. Mall, metro (subway), bus, castle, cable car (similar to our light rail system) down to Belem where the big art museums and monuments are, then back to the hotel. It was destined to be a fun filled day...if I could manage to navigate the city without getting lost...or in trouble. The latter proved to be elusive.

First up: The mall...again

While Kaytee shopped for everything...Megan and I walked around and watched a group of artists. They were good! You could rent time and paint if you wanted to, but it was expensive.
I bought a skirt and few more toothbrushes. As it turned out, I bought the wrong size skirt. I was confused with the sizes (they are different) and ended up putting back the size 6 by accident and buying the size 10. Oops! It's to late to exchange it now! O'well.

Our next adventure was figuring out the metro (subway). It was actually much easier than bart (bay area rapid transit). You simply follow the color line to where you want to go. There are 4 lines and they are not hard to figure out at all. You almost can't get lost. The hardest part is trying to decide what type of ticket you need to buy from the machine. And of course DON'T expect anyone who works there to help you. They hate you and will NOT acknowledge your pleas for help.
We got off at a place called "Rossio" where we emurged from the underground to this amazing site.

Can you see the Castle in the background? That was our next destination. But how to get up there? After doing some research, which involved talking to strangers and getting yelled at a bit, we managed to find the right bus. It was a small bus that you pay when you get on.
Once at the Castle (Castelo S Jorge) we were shuffled to the place where you buy tickets to get in. I was tempted by all the neat looking shops along the way. It was just like you see in travel shows. People, little foreign cars, all cobble stone streets and sidwalks...although most streets were to narrow to have sidewalks. In fact, I think in some places the ground never sees the sun because of how tall and tightly packed the buildings are together.

more to come....stay tuned!

Train to Lisbon

2007-11-19T21:42:00.000-08:00

October 26th

The next day, all the girls and I wanted to do was go to the beach. Be lazy and soak up the sun's glorious rays of heat. However, I wanted desperately to run as well.

I got up early and headed out. First I ran around the resort and saw some of the golf course. This place is known for it's beautiful golf courses. To bad MB couldn't be here to play them. The pain sank in as I pondered the idea and wished he could have seen it.
After the course, I wasn't done running. I decided to run down to the beach. When I got there I kicked off my shoes and ran along the waters edge. Back and forth, I did approx. 8 full rounds. I was tired and my feet were hurting, but I didn't want to stop. It was so beautiful and I knew that these opportunities don't happen very often. The last beach I ran on was in Maui. The tide was low. Fisherman were standing in the tide pools trying to catch something. I don't know what.

Later, the girls and I came back down to the beach. Soon after my dad showed up. He told me that him and Toni were going to take the 3pm train up to Lisbon and get a hotel room. That's fine. It was the plan. However, we wanted to stay longer, so I told him that me and the girls would take the later train at 6.
Well as it turned out because I didn't have a watch, we ended up getting back to the resort before my dad and Toni left. If we hurried, we could still make the 3pm train.

We rushed like mad to pack our things. Toni and my dad left for the station. We had to take seperate cabs anyway since we can't all fit in one.
Well, the girls and I showed up to the station with approx 20 minutes to spare. The train up to Lisbon cost a little bit more than when we came down because it is a faster, newer train. I'll say! It only a little over 2 hours instead of the 3.5 it took on the old train. But for some reason, I prefered the way the old train felt. The older model was more comfortable and brighter.

Once in Lisbon, we needed to find the hotel. It turned out to be only a few blocks away. However, it sure was difficult to roll our luggage across those cobble stone sidewalks all that distance. I worried that I'd break one of my tires! I put a lot of miles on those babies!

The hotel we stayed at was called "VIP Executive Arts" It was modern and fancy. The first thing you see when you walk in is a very large entrance with chairs that look like eggs. The rooms all have hardwood floors and 15 foot ceilings with extremely large automatic curtains. It was nice...but I hated it.
No coffee pots (no surprise) but of course a complimentary toothbrush and razor.
The closets were so large that I actually used one of them to change my clothes in since the bathroom was taken. Yes, we all shared one room.
How did we get away with that, you ask?
Easy. I passed for one of the children! Oh, how embarrassing! But we saved money. It was $200.00 American dollars a night. We needed 2 nights.

You'd think this would be enough for one day, but we were hungry. I was hoping to find something in the hotel, but no such luck.
We footed it back down to the train station were we knew there was a large mall right across the street. Once we found the food court, I was the only one who didn't bolt for the nearest familiar crap Burger King. If I had to waste my money on some foreign thing I'd never heard of, I was determined to try something new. I could sense that my dad wanted to follow my lead, but the death stare he got from Toni was clear. Come with me or else!
Sorry dad. I thought to myself...I better order extra so he can try it!

I was so impressed with their selection. It far exceeds ours. The healthy choices were endless! Some places just had salads. ALL kinds of salads from fruit to lettuce. Most were decorated in bright colors and displayed large pictures of fruit. I was tempted to buy that, but I needed something more substantial. I considered a place that only served soup and another spot that I couldn't quite figure out what it was?? I ended up ordering a plate of steak, rice and beans. It helped that there was an employee who could speak English to me. It was absolutely delicious! It was also reasonably priced.
My dad loved it too. Oh yeah, the drink I ordered was their idea of juice. However, it was more like a smoothie. I could taste kewi and oranges. It was thick, sweet and had seeds. I let everyone try it and it didn't last long.

After dinner, Dad and Toni walked back to the hotel while me and the girls checked out some of the shops in the mall. The mall was 3 levels high. They have a much stronger sense of style than we do. Everywhere you look were shops for clothes. But not just clothes...every shop had the whole outfits available from the hat to the boots and everything inbetween. One shop started with womens clothes, then maternity clothes, followed by baby clothes and then toys for the tots! I found many shops had progressions like this.
We made a couple purchases with my favorite being the toothbrush dispenser in the bathroom. Gotta love it!

Bad Body! Bad cells! Go away!

2007-11-15T11:31:00.000-08:00

I had another pap done on Monday.

They just called and said the test revealed more bad cells on my cervix. Not sure if they are new bad cells or leftover ones missed from my last leap procedure.

I go back for retesting in January.

Life is short.

Bus Tour

2007-11-10T19:51:00.000-08:00

THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND, ROUND AND ROUND, ROUND AND ROUND. THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND, ALL THROUGH THE ALGARVE. :)

October 25th

We were at the bus stop by 8:10am. Shortly thereafter, we were sitting on a nice tour bus bound for the entire western region of the Algarve.

After picking up some more people, we made our first stop. Just a quick 5 minutes for a picture overlooking the castle in Silves. The town was one of my favorite places we visited this day and not just because it was named after me. (My original last name closely resembles it). But because it was so cute! I loved the narrow streets and old castle. The beautiful cathedral was breathtaking and I even liked the fruit & vegetables market. We were allowed to stay for 1 hour.
Just outside the entrance to the market was a bunch of old crates filled with various wines and an old man sitting on a turned over empty one. He didn't speak English so I did the best Portuguese I could muster. Even though I could read the unmistable cost of the items (2 euros...or 4 euros) I wanted to know which wines were the best. I would point to a bottle and look at him. As authentic as possible, I would ask, "muite bom? He would squint his face and wave his dark wrinkled hand back and forth as if to say "it's alright..." Next I picked up a bottle and judged for myself by sticking my finger up underneath the bottle. It has been my experience that the better tasting wines have bottles that reach way up underneath. I don't know why???
He noticed my selection and gave me his approval. The last bottle I purchased I did so only because of the label. The old man let me know it wasn't going to be all that great, but I tried to explain that the label says "Silves". I pointed to myself and said "Silva." He seemed to understand. I gave the man 13 euros for three bottles of red wine and smiled. "Obreegada!"

Next we drove up the to the "Top of the World"...at least that's what they called it, because it is the highest point in the Algarve. It was a beautiful scene, but very windy. We didn't stay there long. Some people even stayed on the bus. I don't know why because just beyond the tiny gift shop was a wine cellar. Our guide had assured us before arriving that we would be able to taste a few on this stop. I was looking forward to it since I had not tried any Portuguese wine yet. However, Megan needed to use the restroom badly. While I was gone, they had finished our group! I muscled my way through the other bus tour group and chose to taste the port. Where do you think port wine came from..."Portugal!" Dah. I had to try theirs. It was wonderful! I bought 1 small bottle.

Another half hour on the bus and it was lunchtime. The food was pre-ordered and the only thing left to do was pick out a table. The tables were set for 4, so I had to scrunch in. I learned that there is no drinking age in Portugal. Our meal was very nice and included wine and a shot of something (I never did figure out what it was). Our waiter asked if Kaytee would be having a shot. What?!? OMGosh, no way! But she wanted to try it. I lightened up and thought...well, techniqually it is legal. I'm not breaking any laws in letting her try it. Besides, she'll hate it! Okay. Go for it.
But then I tasted it. It was sweet and didn't taste like alcohol at all. Just great. Now she'll love it. But I was wrong. She didn't really like it at all. She thought it tasted like syrup and put it down.

Lagos! I liked this little coastal town almost as much as Silves. Lots of shopping. All the streets are like this. In fact, better. It would have nice to spend more than 1 hour here. We felt very rushed.

If memory serves, our next stop was to the "End of the World." I'm sure you can figure out why...
This place was windier than the last! It's also called St. Vincent. I think because there was once a church here, but half of it eroded and fell off into the ocean. There isn't any building structure to speak of, so we didn't stay to long.

Our last stop took us to the small little town of Sagres.

Of course there was lots of history to be told, but all I remember is that the guide believed it was home to the UGLIEST church he had ever seen. Sorry- I didn't get a picture. The church looked very much like something modern you would easily find here in America. Slap a coat of beige paint on the concrete beast and I would have said..."hey, lookie there...now it's kinda purty!" hick hick

After taking everyone back to there original starting points, we arrived back at ours. 12 hours later, I was beat. It was the longest day in Portugal.

Stressed and feeling low

2007-11-07T10:54:00.000-08:00

Here's a few reasons why I've been missing in action lately...Keep in mind that stress can happen weather the events are good or bad.

I've been working and had very short layovers.

Sleep deprived.

Stressed with lack of funds and bills getting out of control.

I lost my case in court and had to pay the traffic fine. ($206.00) Online traffic school to follow.

House is in escrow and scheduled to close Nov. 28th! I have to get my stuff out now! UHHHHHHH (moving is always my biggest stress.)

On top of all that I just feel low. Sad. weak.

However, God knows my woes. He knows my stress and doesn't want that for me. He gave me a book to read on the plane. I found it in row 2 seat C.

It's called "23 minutes in Hell". It certainly makes my problems appear as they are...small. I do believe that Hell is a real place. If you get a chance, check out this book. It's an eye opener. I am so thankful that I will not be going there. On Earth there is hope, no matter what your situation.
Hell is eternal torment, pain, hopelessness, depair and great fear. There is no "Hell on Earth". Just as our brains can not comprehend the peace and love of Heaven, so can we not fathem the horrors of Hell.

But you say..."God will not send me there. I am a good person. I've never raped or murdered little children. They are the ones who deserve Hell."

Have you ever lied? Even a little bit? Have you ever taken anything that wasn't entirely yours? Not even a quarter you found on the ground? Have you ever looked at someone with lust? Have you ever yelled out, God damn it?

Like it or not, you are a sinner; a lying, blasfomous, thieving, adultress (I know my spelling is terrible). You deserve Hell. God does NOT want you to go there. He died for you. He took your punishment and gave you the right to choose. Please don't choose Hell!!! Come be with me in Heaven.

But you say, "It's not fair that God would send good, decent people to Hell." Guess what? He doesn't. You choose with your pride and opinion. Let me ask you, did you open enroll for your work benefits last month or did you do nothing and let it roll over? You can't do that with God. You can't sit on the fence. If you do nothing, you go to Hell.

But still you insist, "It's just not right!" Who are you to determine what is fair and what isn't? Are you willing to bet your eternity on your opinion? I'm not!

Listen, Hell is a real place. The Bible says so over and over. It's very clear. The devil gets the ties and that's just the way it is.
Warnings is our lives are good. They tell you danger is coming. Please take this as a warning. Avoid Hell.

You don't have to be perfect. Have faith and believe in Jesus Christ. Call upon Him in times of trouble. Don't wait! It is the most important thing you will ever do. Why do we buy coffins and plots of land to house our rotting bodies when we die, but do not consider our soul?

Okay- I'm off my soap box now. For some reason, I needed to say that. My next post will resume with October 25th in Portugal.

Explore, Discover and Get Lost

2007-11-01T12:41:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, October 24th

Fully rested and ready to see the sights, the whole group (my dad, Toni, myself and the girls) woke up about 9am. We enjoyed my father’s famous breakfast once again. After pouring over some maps and guide tour options we had somewhat of a plan.
We decided to spend this day in old town Albuferia and perhaps if it were available, take a bus tour the next.
I gathered up my things as best I could, not wanting to leave anything important to me in the room. Before I left America, I had made a special trip up to the house to retrieve a backpack purse from my belongings, thinking it would be just the right bag for such a day as this. However, on the plane I discovered that the zipper was broken. Now it was to late. I ended up using Kaytee’s blue cloth backpack, which had many rips and was dirty. I didn’t want to use it, but it was all I had available to me. I thanked Kaytee for letting me borrow it since sharing doesn’t come easy for her.
At the resort lobby, we purchased tickets for the bus tour that would take us on a daylong excursion tomorrow and requested a taxi. My dad wanted to first stop at the train station for a schedule.
When the taxi arrived, we quickly learned that there weren’t enough seat belts and we wouldn’t all be able to fit. Instead of calling another cab or getting split up and going different directions, we decided to forgo the train stop and just walk to the bus stop that we hoped would take us into the old town area.
We walked quite a ways and wasn’t sure which bus would take us there. We asked anyone who could speak English and couldn’t have looked more like the stereotypical tourist with our maps out and pointing in all directions.
Finally we got on a bus and I said to the driver, “Tresh bilhetes por favor.” Three tickets please. Then I handed him 3 gold and silver coins that were worth 1 euro each.
I had learned a few phrases and words before leaving America, but saying them in a real situation was an odd feeling. It was both fun and scary at the same time. In the back of my mind I’m wondering…did I say it right? What if he says something back to me and I can’t understand him?
He kept his head down, busy with his job. Not suspecting a thing, he repeated “tresh” and handed me 3 ticket stubs. I sat down with a sense of victory that I had fooled the driver into believing I was not a tourist.
After a few more stops, we got off at what promised to be tourist shoppers galore. We took a few pictures and noticed a cute little tourist train that stopped behind us. We bought tickets and got on. After a while, we got off and started our souvenir hunt. The first thing I found was a new backpack purse for only 2 euro! Good buy. I wish everything else could have been so cheap.
I didn’t buy that much more…a mug, a magnet and some post cards. I’m not a big shopper. I usually like to buy a t-shirt, but these were kinda ugly and expensive. Why buy that?
I had more fun soaking in all the differences. Even the bathrooms (banos) were different. No seat covers on most and you push a button on the tank to flush. Back in the resort, you had to pull up on a lever to flush, but at least it had a seat cover. Bidays are widely used here, but I wasn’t brave enough to try one. Yikes!
Another thing that is different is the food. Portuguese don’t use dairy products like we do. Except for cheese. They swear that it doesn’t come from a cow. Which is easy to believe since they use very little beef. Pork and lamb are #1. I was brave enough to try their ice cream. The banana was awesome! I only had a lick for fear of getting sick. I am happy to report that I did not get one single stomach pain while in Portugal. ☺
We walked and walked and walked… my dad and Toni in the lead. We were trying to find the town square. We never found it. I have a pretty good sense of direction, but I didn’t want to be rude acting like I knew where I was going in a foreign country. Once everyone started complaining of sore feet and being hungry, I took control and got us back to the little train.
We ate dinner at a place that looked like it wanted so much to be an American fast food chain. The place was dressed in bright bold colors of yellow, blue and red with big pictures of fries, hamburgers and hot dogs hanging on every wall. Inside you could watch VH1 on a flat screen TV. The menu was interesting. Meals came with a cheeseburger, fries and a BEER! Or you can order pizza and a beer. Luckily the beer could be substituted for soda. I gave my beer to dad and had a real drink…vodka, cherry rum and pineapple juice. They called it a San Francisco.
I had a hamburger that tasted nothing like a hamburger. What the heck was it? I don’t think I want to know.
It was getting late, but there was still so many shops left to explore. Kaytee bought a pair of boxer shorts at a store called “Funky Fish” and Megan bought bubble bath and a necklace.
By the time we got back on the bus it was dark. My dad told the driver we wanted to go to Balagia Village.
The driver took us to the entrance to a resort that said “Balagia” but we all knew it wasn’t the right place. When my dad tried to ask the driver about it, he was greeted with annoyance and told to get off! Arguing with this driver who spoke very little English was pointless. We stepped off the bus not knowing where the heck we were.
Time to get out the map and look at street signs. Nothing. We wondered around a bit. I wasn’t about to ask anyone for help since we were standing in front of a bar and the people walking out were scary looking and mostly drunk.
I tried to flag down a cab, but it doesn’t work that way. They won’t stop on the road like that…you have to call them.
We decided to find the receptions desk at the resort that wasn’t ours. It took forever to find it! My dad and Toni went in and spoke with the receptionist.
“We have good news and bad news.” Toni said when she came back out.
“The bad news is, we can’t get a cab to come here. The good news is it’s only about a mile or so back to our resort.”
I knew it! I knew that billboard we walked past looked familiar! O’well. I smiled and said, “Hey, it’s all part of the adventure!” Kaytee and Megan didn’t see it that way.
We arrived back to the room at about 9pm and went right to sleep. We would be getting up early the next day for a guided tour to the end of the world.

Lazy Day in Sunny Portugal

2007-10-30T05:41:00.000-07:00

First the news: GREAT NEWS!!
While I was gone 2 people put offers on our house! Of the the two, one stood out as a more solid offer so we took it! The other guy asked if they could be a backup. Both were for our asking price, but the other guy wanted us to pay for more stuff. I signed some papers yesterday and we are now officially in escrow! This thing will close within 30 days, possibly sooner. Wow.
On a dimmer note...I did not win the SIA election. Just like before I ran a good race and almost won. I suppose the timing is still not right. God knows best. I'll keep trying.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program: Portugal!

Tuesday, October 23rd.
I woke up with my head still pounding. I wanted coffee. Luckily we were staying in a cottage villa (time share) so our "room" had a kitchen, living room, 2 bathrooms & 2 bedrooms. My dad had already fixed coffee and made his famous monster breakfast. Eggs, potatoes, linguisa, onions & toast. Throughout the meal he sharred with me their adventures of shopping at the local grocery store and his trouble with ordering a cup of coffee.
I later found out what he was talking about. Though I didn't really do any grocery shopping, trying to get a cup of coffe that I am familiar with was impossible. It simply didn't exist. If you say 'coffee' they will bring expresso with milk in it. Small cup. And charge you 3 euros! More of that later.
I ate, took a couple pills and went back to bed. My body ached to much to enjoy anything. Later, I woke up to the girls walking through the door with my dad. They had just spent the last few hours at the beach. By that time I had caught up on my sleep and my headache had subsided. It was around 4pm. We all decided to go back to the beach.

Before we left on the trip, I told the girls to pack their swimsuites. They thought I was crazy. Now they were happy I made the suggestion.
The beach was not a very far walk. Across the street and down another to a narrow dirt path. Warning!...stay out of the street! The cars drive fast and don't stop for you. Pedestrians do NOT have the right of way. My dad learned this real quick when he got his elbow whacked by a passing car's mirror.
Single file we stepped out of the tunnel-like enterence and saw the most beautiful sight; The atlantic ocean from another continent's point of view.
We headed back for the same area that the family had been to earlier to find the same bull fighting arenea sand castle that they had constructed.
The girls ran ahead and I took a picture of them. Walking together I said, "We made it Dad! We're finally here in Portugal!" Like a child he smiled and with a giggle in his voice he replied, "Yeah, I know!" Then a more serious expression washed across his face as he added, "Thank you".
With a free arm I wrapped it around his waist and rested my head on his shoulder. "I love you dad."
"I love you too babe."

We spread out two towels that my dad had purchased in Spain the week before and rested. It was almost evening and the wind was picking up. I didn't go in the water. This certainly isn't Hawaii, though not as cold as the beached in Northern Ca. Goose bumps started appearing on my arms so I put on Kaytee's sweatshirt and talked with my dad about relationships and other stuff. I've always been able to talk with him about anything. I thank God for that.
After a while we walked back and discussed where we would be having dinner. Our tummys had turned on the hunger indicator switch which in turn activated our sense of smell and locator beacon.
My dad made the choice and soon we were all dressed and back on the road walking to the restaurante. I look horrible in this picture because I had not bothered to do my hair or make up and still jet lagged from the journey.

The meal was great. Toni and I had the salmon, Megan had fish fingers & chips (fries) Kaytee had spare ribs.
I ordered water because they don't give you glasses of water for free. They bring you a water bottle. Small or large. The large is REALLY large and the small is very small. Nothing in between. I had the large and sharred it with everyone.
Our waitor spoke enough English to help us, though I gave him with the word "skin" to help him discribe the outer layer of a potatoe.
Just before we were served, the chef came out and started speaking Portuguese to us. He was surprised to learn that we didn't know much. Confused he said, "But you are Portuguese? I can see it in your faces." We explained. Yes, we are, but do not live here.
Later the chef came back and did a magic trick. Then he asked Kaytee to sing. When she wouldn't do it, Megan did! He told her she sings beautifully. Megan choose to sing the song "Umbrella". The crazy thing we noticed is that Portugal loved this song! It played on every station all the time. On the bus, in the taxi and even in the mall in Lisbon...you could hear "under my umbrella...ella ella, eh eh eh."

After dinner, something happened that I have not experienced in the states. Both the waitor and the chef stood at the exit (salida) to shake our hands and thank us for coming. Obregada! Boa Noite! Thank you and good night.

In good with God! But let's take it from the top.

2007-10-29T13:15:00.000-07:00

I hearby give all the credit of my good fortune to the Lord, Jesus Christ. It is only by His grace and love that I am here right now and not stuck in Portugal by myself wondering how the girls will manage in Newerk airport without money for the next 24 hours alone.

I want to explain my entire trip to you in logical sequence, but bare with me...that will take a few posts and several hours (and days) of my time. However, I'm willing to do it so that I will have the history preserved as long as there is internet.
Furthermore, I will restrain my desire to describe what happened yesterday, and start from the beginning. Okay- here goes...

Saturday night; October 20, 2007

I picked up Kaytee in Georgetown from her boyfriend's homecoming dance and returned back to my apartment at 12:30am. Since the alarm was set for 3am, I didn't bother trying to sleep. I brewed a pot of coffee and finished wrapping up details for the trip.

6am, we flew Sacramento to Chicago. Waited for 1.5 hours and barely made it on the plane to Newerk, New Jersey. I had no idea just how close it is to New York and was surprised to see the Statue of Liberty outside our window just before landing. In Newerk, we took the air tran to the international terminal where I found the Continental ticket counter and printed out our standby tickets for Lisbon. I made sure to stop and exchange American dollars for Euros before leaving America, knowing that taxis and buses only take Euro cash and nothing else.
3 hours later we had NO trouble getting on the flight, as there was about 50 open seats. 6.5 hours after that, we arrived in Lisbon. It was 8:30 in the morning October, 22nd. I had not slept on the any of our flights. After 2 full nights and days without rest, I was exhausted.
However, we still had much to accomplish before I could colapse into some sort of bed. At the Lisboa airport, I found a tourist information desk and figured out how we could travel down to Albuferia which is in the southern region of the Algarve. My choices were catching a taxi to the bus station or taxi to the train station. I chose the train as it was cheaper and closer than the bus.
In portugal it is very easy to get a cab. At the airport you wait in line to catch a taxi, much like waiting for a ride at Disneyland, I was surprised that none of the cab drivers speak English very well. Only a little. I simply said "Oriente train station" and they took us there. Figuring out the train system was difficult. There was not anyone you could talk to. The station is 4 levels high, with the metro (subway) on the bottom and the train at the top. Shopping and waiting rooms existed on the 2 middle levels. Kaytee tried approaching a security gaurd to ask for help, but he only pointed to something, spoke in an annoyed tone and walked off.
I finally found a machine that I was able to purchase tickets from. We had to wait 3 hours for the next train to Albuferia. While waiting, Kaytee tried to lay down and take a nap on one of the benches, but a guard came by and poked her on the shoulder. He grunted to make her sit up and we understood that she wasn't allowed to lay down.
On the train, we learned that the seats were assigned when someone pointed out that fact that we were in their seats. 3.5 hours later we arrived in Albuferia. A cab was waiting only a few steps away. I got out my address for the resort my dad was staying at and showed it to the driver. Moments later we zoomed off for our final destination. It was 5:00 o'clockpm. 8 hours later than California time.
15 minutes later we pulled up the frount enterence of Balagia Golf Resort in Albuferia. My dad and his girlfriend Toni, were waiting to greet us.
I tried to visit, but my head was pounding and I couldn't stay awake one more minute. I fell asleep and didn't get up until noon the next day.

Yo, Drama on the Block (Blockbuster, that is)

2007-10-15T20:05:00.000-07:00

I just witnessed a crime.

It's weird when these things happen because you're not expecting it. Here's what went down. (keep in mind that it all took place within about a 15 minute span).

I walked into the local Blockbuster Video where I rent movies. I casually looked around for a few minutes until I spotted what promised to be exciting and historical...Flyboys.

I am generally oblivious to my surroundings, but the fallen sun outside gave the store a bright illumination that forced me to take notice the second I opened the door...as if I had just stepped under a tractor beam or flipped on the kitchen florecents first thing in the morning.

He was a large stocky (not fat) black, uh-hem, African American male with long, but not that messy dreadlocks. I know I saw his face while I was searching for a movie, but I don't remember it that well. If I had to guess his age, I'd say mid 20s? However these days the kids are so dang big, who knows!

There was a car waiting for him outside. I didn't notice that until it was peeling out in front of me.

My normal routine when randomly picking out a movie is to start in the middle, go right, then left. I don't know why, it's just what I do. That wasn't important, I know. Anyway- oddly enough I selected a movie in record time and approached the register. Blockbuster had just recieved a shipment of movies and the 2 clerks were busily opening them and taking inventory.
2 large boxes sat on the counter.

The black man was the only other customer in the store besides myself. He was slowly heading toward the door and had just past the scanner when it happened.

He turned around, grabbed one of the boxes, ran out the door and jumped into the waiting car outside. It was an old model white caddy or Buick? I can't be sure due to the dimly lit parking lot. Although it happened so fast, I probably wouldn't have known in day either.

I was stunned. It took a few seconds to register what had happened.

"Did he just steal that box?" I asked feeling like a dope. The two guys at the counter had acted so casually that I thought perhaps it wasn't what I thought I just saw. Most likely the guys were so wrapped up in their task that they didn't have time to freak out. In fact there was no freaking out at all. I rented my movie and said, "has that ever happened to you before?"
"No" he aswered.
Immediately it was business as usual except for one of the guys had gotten on the phone. I don't know if he had called police or the company, but he was talking about the robbery.

"Thank you. good night."

Then I left.

Looking back, I wonder why I didn't ask if they needed me to give a police report. After all, I was the only one who watched the dude grab it and run. That's weird huh? It didn't even occur to me.

Perhaps I'll get called in, but I'm guessing not. Perhaps if he had used a gun or yelled out demands for money he would be considered violent and the police would give it more attention than a report.
But right now this guy's a chicken. I suppose with added victories under his belt he'll take his time. He'll become more violent and dangerous with experience.

In other news: I applied for the SIA rep position. There are 2 spots open and at least 10 candidates running. I hope Ron and I win! The cruel part is I will be in Portugal when the election closes and not able to use my phone. But fear not! For I have conquored death! hehe. To dramatic? I mean, I rented a phone that will work in Portugal. However, at $1.49 a minute it will be reserved for emergencies. That counts as an emergency, right? Also I recieved Megan's passport today! Pure gold! Okay- now we can go. Nobody get on my flights last minute! BTW- most of my flights plans have changed...again. Uhhhh

Close Call

2007-10-13T15:56:00.000-07:00

My alarm sounded at 5am today. I was sure to get down to the lobby a few minutes before 6am so that I wouldn't get left behind (shuttle nazis in LA...). All was going well (no broken airplanes, on-time departures, etc) until the last few minutes of our last leg into SJC.
It didn't feel like much to me, but enough to make me think, hmm, why'd they do that?

After we landed and I opened the flight deck door, Captain Neilson said, "You were almost dead and you didn't even know it."

Say what?

"Didn't you feel that dip?"

"Yeah, what was that about?" I asked calmly.

"We were going head on with a single engine aircraft!" he added.

Both Scott and Julie (First Officer Julie Brooks) seemed a bit shaken.

Oh, the excitment! I shrugged it off and finished gathering up my things. What else could I do?

I'm glad I'm alive and not spread all over the bay area. That would have ruined my day and made me wish I would have missed the shuttle.

Vacation...all I ever wanted, vacation...have to get away!

2007-10-10T23:32:00.000-07:00

Portugal, here we come!

I'm freaking out, but that's a good thing. It gets me motivated to do things I should have done at least a month ago. Like figuring out how I'm gonna get there...you know, little stuff like that!

Flying stand by means I have to be prepared for getting stuck by making 2nd, 3rd and if possible...a fourth alternate plan. I have a plan A and plan B.

Plan A is getting a ride to SFO and flying United to EWR (Newerk). Then Continental EWR to LIS (Lisbon).

Plan B is getting a ride to SFO and flying Lufthansa to FRA (Frankfurt, Germany) then FRA to LIS.

I hope we can get a ride!

I know what you're thinking...Kathy, why don't you fly out of Sacramento instead of trying to get a ride? Well, it's simple...SFO is a larger hub and I doubt that me and the girls will be able to get on one of our short morning flights to SFO now that they pulled the jet off that route. Those are always full. I guess I can look it up, but I'm not counting on it.

For the flights home the plan is pretty much the same only in reverse.

The tricky thing is knowing what options are available and what ZED tickets to purchase ahead of time. Yes...PURCHASE. This will not exactly be "free" traveling. I am hoping to spend between $500.00-$800.00 for the three of us. Why so much? Taxes. Plus anytime I fly on carriers that are not partnered with SkyWest, I pay a percentage based on mileage. I can't complain, though. These tickets would cost about $3000.00 per person without my flying benefits...and maybe we can snag first class seats. The gate agents will bump us up if nobody else buys them. I sure hope so! This is going to be the longest flight I've ever been on! The saavy non-rever (and I've known a few) know how to get seats worth 24,000.00 for next to nothing. Ah, it's inspiring really. As luck would have it, I'm flying with such a person tomorrow. I need help!

We will be gone for 1 week. That's enough time for me. I get homesick. My dad and his girlfriend are leaving the day after tomorrow and will spend 1 week in Spain and then the week with us in Portugal. I am so glad this is finally happening for him. What will he say now? I've been hearing..."one of these days we're going to visit Portugal" for all 36 years of my life. Perhaps Alaska? Kaytee really wants to see Italy. That shouldn't be a problem. Lots of choices there. Me? I want to see Greece.

Unfortunately there is one big pain in the butt that threatens to dump sour milk all over my cake...The United States Passport Center.

They think I'm going to run away with my under age children and never come back! I can see their point, can't you? Parents are divorcing...one has been violent...there are questions about custody....this happens all the time. One parent takes off with the tot and the other never sees that kid again.

However, that is not case here. I'm not doing that! I just want to go on vacation! I love my job! I'm not leaving everything behind to start a new life in Portugal. Oh, hell no!

But, I don't have a legal document from the court ordering full custody to me because the divorce is not yet final. It should be...dang, I hate lawyers. I do have a restraining order that states right on there who has full and legal custody...ME. But that wasn't good enough. So I went to the courthouse and paid $15.00 per page for certified copies of court minutes from the most recent court date that states "All orders to remain in effect."

I've been going through this rigamaroll all summer. As of this morning, I have a FedEx tracking number for Megan's passport and it should have been here this morning, but....

nothing.

I remind myself during times like these.....good things come to those who wait...and when you're butt falls asleep, stand up and shake it!

A scare, a trip and an opportunity

2007-10-07T19:30:00.000-07:00

First for the scare...

Last week I decided to go to the house to paint the living room. I had many things to do and didn't get on the road until about 6pm. I had been looking forward to stopping in the canyon to run before arriving at the house.
It's amazing how fast it gets dark as soon as the sun sets. The run was going great the first 2 miles in and I was enjoying it so much that I accidently continued on to the 3.5 mile mark. At that time I realized that I wouldn't be back before dark and I became concerned about wild animals. Well, not to long after that I heard something that sounded big and not like a deer. I know what deer sound like and that wasn't it. Seriously- it freaked me out! I stoped for a moment and then decided to run like hell! I made good time; finishing the second 3.5 miles in only 25 minutes. I was very happy to finally see headlights about a half mile to the end. By that time I couldn't see where I was stepping. I spent the entire next day painting the living room and hallway. We are currently under market value. We have been on the market for about 7 months now. We have dropped our asking price by $104,000. dollars. Yep- we started out at 429k and now down to 325k Ouch. Now that's scary.

Now for the trip...

Yesterday I finished a 4 day trip. I hadn't worked the jet in 2 months! Now I'm tired. The jet is so much more work than the brasilia. 50 people, 4 times a day, early shows....but fear not! I have a funny story...

During the boarding process, bound for Boise, Idaho, I had an Asian lady in her mid 50's I'd say, who had a rather large carry on bag that she insisted would fit. She was seated at the bulkhead 1C, which meant she HAD to put it in the overhead bin because she has no seat in front of her. I usually stop the boarding traffic for these such individuals so that they don't have to swim upstream to find there way back to their seat.
So me and this older gentlemen waited while the lady fought with her bag. Then I noticed it. I hoped she would figure it out soon and correct the problem, but it just kept getting worse. Finally the gentlemen leaned over and said to me, "maybe you ought to go help her out."
A little startled, I pulled myself out of the trance I seemed to be locked into and replied, "oh yeah, your right- I should."
I walked down to row 3 and began trying to help her make the bag fit.
"I can do it! I can do it!" she insisted.
I shifted my head over my right shoulder and whispered softly, "I know you can ma'am, but you need to check your pants."
I would have been much more embarrassed if it were me. She simply said, "Oh my gosh!" then pulled them back up over her butt and fastened the button that had come undone.

An opportunity...

At least 2 SIA representative positions have opened and there will be another election to fill the spots. Should I run again? I have to decide by Oct. 15th. I'm not sure that I want to. I was somewhat relieved when I didn't get it last time. This makes me wonder if it's even right for me. Perhaps I'm just scared that I'll do a bad job? Do I have the extra time to devote to it? What about becoming an instructor? I can't do both. Will this opportunity come around again or will it take a while?
Career decisions are tough!

Running and the cops

2007-09-26T11:20:00.000-07:00

I just finished a 5 mile run on the treadmill. That makes 9 miles for this week so far. ehhh. I would have done 5 miles on Monday, but Megan's school called at the 4 mile mark and I had to stop. She was feeling sick.

Later that day (Monday) I drove to CCS to pick up Kaytee and Sam from school and on the way back I got pulled over!

That sick feeling washed over me as soon as I glaced over my left shoulder and saw that cop lurking just barely in view. It was to late to stop my foot from hitting the gas petal, my speed...about 5 mph.

"Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over?"

I began to knod my head but before I could answer he blurted out, "You just sailed right through that stop sign" in his loud, matter of fact voice.

My court date is Nov. 5th. How much is the fine? I don't know. Jeez, I hope I can afford it!

All my mother law could say was...well Kathy, the girls tell me that you always do those California stops! It was just a matter of time before you got in trouble for it!

Thanks mom.

My first line check

2007-09-25T18:36:00.000-07:00

1.5 years with the company and I've finally gotten my first line check.

A line check is when an instructor comes onboard and evaluates everything I do, inspects my manual and makes sure I am in uniform complience.

So how did I do?

Excellent! I did everything right. Announcements were perfect. Manual was spotless, and she commented twice that I looked "beautiful" in my uniform. She thinks I should be a lead instructor too. I told her that I would apply the next time a position becomes available.

Pictures

2007-09-20T15:33:00.001-07:00

Avila Beach

Avila Beach

Welcome to The Mission San Luis Obispo de Tolosa

The Mission San Luis Obispo de Tolosa

Inside The Mission

The second side of truth

2007-09-19T20:49:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I know I told you that last weeks "work" was more like a paid vacation. In a way it was. But if I made anyone feel like I was rubbing it in...I apologize. That simply wasn't my intention.

If you know me at all, you will know that I choose to see the brighter side of life. Especially here on this blog. My aches and pains have also been displayed, but mostly I want to live happy.

As for my TDY to SBP...the negative side of it was that I didn't get to see my kids soccer game ( I missed Megan's first one this year) and I put last minute pressure on my in-laws by getting ripped away from my home so fast. Plus when I finally came home 5 days later, I had to work an 8 leg local starting at 5am that I had picked up a while ago on my day off to earn more money. Therefore I was very tired by Monday night and missed my girls a lot.

Yes, SBP was beautiful (pictures...I'm working on that) and I enjoyed the trip...but I was alone. One truely is the loneliest number. Going to these places and seeing these things are fun. I do enjoy them and probably will continue to take trips by myself, but doing it alone is like seeing the world in faded color.

I am looking forward to Portugal because the girls and my dad will be with me. I wish I could take everyone I care about. All the same, I'm going to enjoy the trip.

In other news- Kaytee got her braces off! Her teeth look great!

SBP...San Luis Obispo

2007-09-13T17:16:00.000-07:00

I got called yesterday. I was on my way to pick up Kaytee from school when it happened. Reserve is like a box of chocolates...you never know what your gonna get.

I hit the jackpot! An all expense paid vacation to San Luis Obispo! Enjoy 4 nights & 5 days the fabulous (blank) hotel (I won't say which one for safety reasons) with free full breakfast, manager's reception at night and shuttle transportation to Pismo beach!

Yeah, it's the rough life.

I'm actually sitting reserve here, so if they call me during reserve hours I have to go. But hey- I've already visited The Mission of San Luis Obispo de Tolosa and done some shopping (I hadn't packed and needed clothes).

Tonight there is a big farmer's market that everyone says I MUST go see. Okay...

Well I better go now my computer battery is almost dea

TGIO

2007-09-11T12:59:00.000-07:00

Thank God It's Over!

Just as I expected, the procedure went great. My doctor and nurse were fantastic. It was a bit painful and certainly uncomfortable, but thankfully it's over.

Afterward I went back to my apartment and stayed in bed the rest of the day. My back and stomach also ached. However, I did get some writing done and almost finished off the last book of Harry Potter.

I will have Megan tonight. I treasure every moment with the kids now. Megan has a doctor appointment to have "richie" braces created for her feet. They will do the molds today and we should get the braces by next month.

gotta go. I just finished running and oh boy- do I need a shower!

Take care my friends!!!!

Here I go

2007-09-10T09:37:00.000-07:00

I got in late last night from a local that was added to my schedule the other day. 6 hours later I woke up and got ready for my procedure. I was supposed to be done by now, but the doctor was called to the hospital for an emergency c-section. So here I am waiting for my pushed off appointment that I'm hoping will still happen today.

Man, I really don't want to do this. I'm being such a baby. I know it will go fine...not a big deal, but these are the things in life that suck.

How can I complain? It's not I'm starting cemo or having heart surgury. Get over it Kathy!

Okay- okay.

In other news...I kicked up my running this week. I had taken it down a notch by going only 20 minutes/ 5 times a week, but that really wasn't doing anything for me. I found that I was feeling pressured to keep the weekly miles up. If I missed even one day, my miles suffered. This week I ran 4 times and ran 16.5 miles. Not to bad. However, my inside thigh muscles are feeling a bit sore.
Now that the weather is on the down side of HOT HOT HOT...I am hoping to get outside and run the trails nearby my apartment.

More boring news: I am still not working much. Just an occasional brasilia local here and there. I haven't worked an overnight since July. I know...more complaining. Sorry.

Well, time to go get scrapped. Joy.

Rescheduled

2007-09-04T13:35:00.000-07:00

I was supposed to have my OBGYN LEAP procedure done tomorrow, but this morning I woke up with horrible cramps. Was that to much info? I feel like it was. O'well, that's life.

I called to reschedule my appt and they said that they couldn't fit me in for a while. I begged! I pleeded! I got the doctor to come in early next week. YEAH!

I asked why the doctor wanted to do the LEAP instead of the other procedure he said would be better for me when I spoke with him last. She told me that I'm actually scheduled for both. ??? I didn't understand and she wasn't very good at explaining it.

In other thoughts: I read an article on Mother Teresa and I am truely convinced that she is indeed a saint. What suffering she endured and never wavered in God's will for her life. The saints always suffered for Jesus. And completely humble, she knew that if her immense suffering were known it would distract people away from Him. However, it only makes her more sincere...more believable. Yes, she doubted her faith. EVERYONE does this. Who knew she would be the saint to the skeptics?

Thank you Lord, for the blessed and faithful. To know that she was alive during my time! I wish I could have met her. I want so badly to see Jesus.

Fun Night on Uncle Buddy's Land

2007-08-30T12:41:00.000-07:00

Hi Folks!

My Uncle (I actually have 4 uncles on my dad's side) has a large plot of land with a house in Grass Valley that I've never been to. My dad has been there many times to visit, party and work. Last night I took the girls up there after school to do some tubing. Yes, tubing. There is a water irrigation ditch that looks more like a small river, running 100+ miles through his property. My dad drove us up a ways and we floated down the icy cold water back to the house. We all had a good time, even though my tube popped and I walked back to the house with a nice scratch on my leg. Luckily the house wasn't that far away.

We had also planned on shooting my uncles pistol, but it got to dark. After a yummy hamburger/hot dog BBQ and a funny episode of "Family Guy" it was time to leave. I drove the girls back down to Sacramento (1.25 hours away) and headed back to my apartment. I was exhuasted, but it was worth it.

Lucky to be alive

2007-08-24T11:39:00.000-07:00

Last week my nephew was in a terrible car accident.

It was 2am and Jonny was alone in his big cadilac traveling on a curvy road in the rural outskirts of town. He may have been speeding, but he had NOT been drinking.

It only took a moment when he took his eyes off the road to realize he was in trouble. It was a much sharper turn than he planned for when his tires hit the gravel. All he remembers of the horrific crash is thinking..."I don't want to hit those mailboxes." Just after feeling the car spin, his last thought was, "I'm fucked."

His car was not just totaled, it was unrecognizable and shocking. Everyone who saw the car or pictures of what was once a car, couldn't believe that anyone could have survived. Certainly if there had been a passenger, it would have been fatal as a tree branch went right through that seat. The car flipped and rolled and sent Jonny's hat, shoes and car parts in all different directions as far as two blocks away and the top of a neighbor's tree.

The car landed in the bushes of a farmer's yard. The farmer heard the crash and pulled him out. At the hospital they treated him for cuts, bruises and an injured knee- but no broken bones! No surgery! They gave him a vicadin and sent him home. My sister had not heard the phone calls. She didn't even know what happened until the next morning because Jonny had gone straight to bed. (He stays in the guest cottage in the backyard).

When she questioned him about his missing car, he was wrapped in a blanket and couldn't remember that he was in an accident, therefore didn't know where his car was.

Kris had to call the police and hospital to find out the info.

Our family has been blessed with this miracle. I am so happy to still have my wonderful nephew, Jonny (20 yrs old).

Song in my Heart to You

2007-08-24T11:35:00.000-07:00

"All Of The Words"

How do I speak of the indescribable to You
I will try to explain these feelings that are true
So looking to the sky I will sing and from my heart to You I bring

All of the words in all of my life that could never explain and never describe
All of my love, which is nothing to hide so I lift up my hands and I worship
I worship You

In your presence I forever choose to live
I will praise You for it's all I have to give
So looking to the sky I will sing and from my heart to You I bring

All of the words in all of my life that could never explain and never describe
All of my love, which is nothing to hide so I lift up my hands and I worship

By Your grace You let me come talk to You
It's not that I'm worthy I thank you Jesus
For the love that You have shown

All of the words in all of my life that could never explain and never describe
All of my love, which is nothing to hide so I lift up my hands and I worship

With all of the words in all of my life that could never explain and never describe
All of my love, which is nothing to hide so I lift up my hands and I worship
I worship You

LEAP (again)

2007-08-22T16:58:00.000-07:00

My OBGYN doctor's office called today and said my second pap confirmed abnormal cells. I scheduled a LEAP procedure for Sept. 5th.

This time I believe my doctor will do a good job. He has a much better bedside mannor than the last guy who did this procedure. I will be fine.

Meeting a King

2007-08-19T12:38:00.001-07:00

Yesterday the girls and I met Sacramento King, Vlade Divac. That's NBA Basketball for those of who don't know....

Excuses, excuses...

2007-08-19T11:20:00.000-07:00

I could say that I've been busy- but aren't we all?

How about I don't have a private internet access? Ehhhh, maybe you could acept that but it's weak.

Ironic isn't it...that I used to have almost NOTHING to do but blog. Now I can't seem to fit it in. Well, let me stop my whinning and get back to my life in all it's interesting turn of events...here's what's been up with me:

Forgive me if I repeat myself, but I don't remember what I've told you.

I have spent the summer in resistance. But praise GOD, I have won. Victory belongs to Him and I give Him all the glory for it!

Jeez, what is she talking about?

Kaytee, the court and my job. Well, one out of three is better than nothing and honestly, I can find victory in my losses.

In the end, the court decided NOT to let Kaytee go to Oregon to live with my sister. This was okay with me, because I'm relieved that I don't have to let her go. I get to keep my baby for another 4 years!! This did, however, bring up the issue of where she will attend high school. The choices (which really was only 1 choice) didn't look good to me. I was worried to send her to a place that holds nearly 5000 students and would appear about as old as the Greek ruins if it weren't for campus police walking around.
Switch gears for 2 seconds; Megan has been attending day camp in Sacramento all summer. While we were walking around the end of the season carnival, I ran into my very good friend, Devona. She has a daughter named Sam that Kaytee went to preschool thru fourth grade with. I hadn't seen her in about a year.
She told me that Sam was going to Capital Christian for high school. I was happy for her and wished that Kaytee could go too. But I knew the school was expensive and would be a long drive given where it was.
Later, Ginger (my mother-in-law) meantioned the school. When I found out that they would be willing to pay for it, my heart leaped!
While Kaytee was off and about in Monterey with my niece, Ginger and I visited both schools that were in the running. It was a NO BRAINER! Capital Christian FAR exceeded public school in every way.
However, Kaytee was in deep resistance to the idea. She wouldn't even talk to me for a week because I pretty much insisted that she would be going there.
I know my daughter. She never likes anything I suggest. I knew that once she saw the school, she would agree that it would be the best place for her. Still, she called me selfish and mean. I took the heat from not only her, but my sister as well. I knew in my heart that God wants her at that school.
So I scrambled. I had a large packet of forms to fill out and references to get from past teachers, principal & pastor. Also copies of grades, STAR scores, birth certificate & immunization shots. The one thing that was the most difficult form to get was the student questionaire. Kaytee had to fill out a form that explained why she wanted to come to CCS. She wrote "I don't want to come to CCS. My mother is making me."
Once all the forms were in, they called me back for an interview. 2 days before the first day of school, Kaytee & I met with the guidence counsler and with some reluctance, Kaytee was accepted. The great victory came when I said to her as we walked out to the car..."Kaytee, you looked like you wanted to be accepted."
She replied, "I did." Now I know I have a great kid, because the day before, she actually apologized to me for all the hell she put me through. Perhaps that was the true victory.
Here's a couple pictures I took on that day.

Now for another part of my life:
I didn't win the election to be the new SIA representative. It's okay. I wish Ron would have won. But it must not be the right thing for either one of us at this time in our lives.
Also I have been blessed with a bedroom for my girls. I moved into a 2 bedroom apartment a week ago. Sweet life. How good God is!

Quote

2007-07-23T16:27:00.001-07:00

"The abundant life does not come to those who have had a lot of obstacles removed from their path by others. It develops from within and is rooted in strong mental and moral fiber."

~William Mather Lewis

Blessings for all

2007-07-21T20:38:00.000-07:00

The other day I recieved this email from Pastor Tim's wife...

Hi Kathy,

This is Debbie, Tim's wife. He called me from SF Saturday evening and told
me about the flight. I shared this story with our congregation on Sunday AM
and told them that we serve such an awesome God; a God that cared enough
about one flight attendant to clear the whole plane so my husband could be a
blessing to her!

Feel free to write anytime; not sure where you station out of but if ever in
Boise for any period of time, please contact us! We are continuing to pray
for you.

Thanks also for the pictures!

May God bless and continue to order your steps,

Debbie

HAVE FAITH FOLKS! God cares.

I have one more quick story...Today a girl came onboard and she was wiping her face. I asked if those were tears on her face. She knodded. I asked if she needed a hug and she quickly reached her arms out for me. Before we took off she asked if I would be providing a beverage. I said yes. She said that she hadn't eaten all day.
Soon after we took off, I walked back to her seat and gave her a crew meal (the first class black box). We are not even supposed to get those, but I offered it to her anyway. She smiled. I told her she has much to pretty of a face to be crying. After all my passengers were served, I invited her up to the galley if she'd like to talk. She hopped out of her seat so fast and followed me up there!
I thought she was older, but it turned out that she was 16 and been through quite a bit for a girl her age. She was sad because her visit with her mom was over and she would not see her again for another year. She lives with her grandparents in AZ. We talked a bunch about some pretty deep stuff. As she deplaned, I gave her another hug and told her that she is a very beautiful person with a good heart and to be strong! She said I was very easy to talk to and wanted to give me her email address.
I plan on sending her a message soon. Clearly God brings people together for a reason. I guess this girl needs me. I'll try not to let her down.

Gone

2007-07-17T16:13:00.000-07:00

Bob's father passed away this morning. I know you don't know them...but please say a quick prayer. Thank you.

Church at 30,000 feet

2007-07-16T14:08:00.001-07:00

World: Meet Pastor Tim and his son, Jesse

God has been talking to lately and I really want to share this with you.
The other day I had a flight from Boise, Idaho to San Francisco, Ca. We were supposed to have 5 passengers. Instead I had only 2. I welcomed Pastor Tim and his son, Jesse onboard their own private jet! It was very cool. I actually messed up my announcements because I wasn't used to not using the PA. But they didn't care. They smiled and enjoyed my company. We spent the entire flight (which turned out to be 2 hours because of getting stuck in a holding pattern) getting to know each other. Jesse is incredibly gifted with the guitar. His church will certainly miss him. We took them to SFO so he could connect onto Austrailia where he will attend college to study music.

Ron- you're going to be VERY jealous!! He got out his guitar and played during flight. It was awesome!! Also have you noticed the similarity? Ron, you look just like this kid!

Let me back up for a moment. The morning of this day, I had been sitting in the hot tub at the hotel in San Jose. I was thinking that I missed going to church. I actually asked God if he would help me find one in Palm Springs. Well, I ended getting a horrible headache and wasn't able to get out of the room in Palm Springs. I believe God knew this would happen and actually brought Church to me at 30,000 feet!
Pastor Tim asked me if there was anything that he could pray with me about. Of course I said, "Oh heck yes!" I then spilled all my concerns to him about MB. Right there we held hands and lifted Michael to God in prayer. I was moved by the spirit and had to fight back my tears.

All I have to say is that God is good. All the time...GOD IS SO GOOD!

There is another thing that weights heavily on my mind...the guy I am dating is loosing his father. They thought he would not make it through last night. It will be soon and I just wish I could ease the pain for him. So many people I care about is suffering. I pray for peace and healing.

Vote for Me!

2007-07-14T09:25:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you'd vote for me if you could, right?

I'm running to be a SIA representative. Ron is running too! He would be a good choice as well, so if I don't get it, I hope he does.

I have so many things to tell you. Of course that's what happens when you go so long without posting. I'll have to break this down...

Job- I already told you...SIA rep. There is currently an online debate in full swing and Ron & I are trying our best to keep up with the questions. Election time is from July 21-31st. The winner to be announced Aug. 1st. As for the rest of my job...it's great! I'm still loving it and having fun. I'm in San Jose right now. Tonight is Palm Springs.

Writing- still going full steam ahead. Everything from my story and little short clips from other stories I want to write to more SIA articles and jumpseat poetry. My thoughts are a flutter.

Running- I've run 4 times this week so far. I planned on running today and maybe I still will if I can get myself out of this very comfy bed! I've motified my running schedule a bit. I recently decided to shorten my workouts but give it more intensity and do them more often. 20 minutes at greater speed at least 5 times a week. By the time I'm in the last minute I'm up to 8.0 mph. Unfortunately all treadmill running these days.
I still like it though.

The house- still on the market and not selling.

MB- I guess he got a job in the town we used to live in before Sacramento. I am happy for him. I hope it works out.

Court- that's a mess. MB needs a new lawyer before anything else can really move forward. The judge doesn't want to do anything without his lawyer present and of course he was busy on the 5th. Now the guys on vacation for a month! MB- dump that over priced high and mighty no good lawyer!

My apartment- Through the grace of God I am finally getting to give my girls a bedroom! Of course they have to share...but it's a bedroom! No more sleeping in the dining/living room on an air mattress. Next month I will move my stuff across the complex into a 2 bedroom unit. The great news is it will only cost me $50.00 more than I pay now. If I get the SIA rep job, I'll have to start paying for internet. Therefore I'm thinking about getting my fancy nails taken off. It costs a lot to maintain them. Maybe someday I can have them back.

BTW- This picture was taken the other day at the house. It's not very often (incredible rare) that I get to see Valena. She's doing well.

Whoops- other things I've forgotten to mention:

I saw Air Force One in ABQ last month. We taxied right by it. Actually it was Chaney that visited so it wasn't really Air Force One, huh. More like Air Force 2.

I go back to the doctor next week for a re-pap. I'll let you know how that goes.

Right now I wish I was in advertising. I've got a great idea for a coffee commercial!

What is Freedom?

2007-07-03T20:00:00.000-07:00

Free to speak....so be nice.

Free to worship...so Thank God.

Free to prosper...so contribute.

Free to express yourself...so imagine.

Free to bare arms...so be careful.

Free to vote...so make a difference.

Free to a fair trail...so get a good lawyer!

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY

What does Freedom mean to you?

Hello and Happy Day!

2007-06-23T14:15:00.000-07:00

Hello folks!

Wondering about me?

I'm in Medford right now visiting my sister, brother-in-law, niece, nephew & mother. Katie and I drove up yesterday with her bed, dresser and clothes. We don't know yet if she will be allowed to live here, but at least she can visit for the summer.

Last Thursday the 21st was difficult day for me. I met with the court mediator and MB. I knew I would be talking about the girls and custody. Mostly, I was concerned about how the court would feel about Katie wanting to go live in Oregon with my sister. However, I wasn't prepared for the severe word lashing I would recieve from the mediator as a result of that arrangement. Not to mention that having MB sitting right there turned my emotional water faucet on and wouldn't you know it...the tissue box was empty!

The questions the mediator asked me right off the bat were badgering. He would ask me a question and then another before I could even get the first answer out. He aimed them mostly at my relationship with Katie. Well, if anybody knows us, you would know that I've had a difficult time getting her to listen to me. She has a stubborn, clear mind of her own. However, I would NOT say that Katie and I have a disfunctional mother/daughter relationship. We disagree over dumb little things but we love each other fiercely.
Now combine that with my extreme dislike for counslers and you get the wrong picture....that I would rather send my daughter away than to go through counsling. Also that it would be more convient for me to not have her around.

I was in shock and could barely speak to save my life. This is not how the situation is. Katie has been begging me for months to live with my sis. I've been resistant to the idea. It hurts me a great deal to think I can't take care of her. But finally I realized that this is the best thing for HER. My sister and her husband are great parents. They have a bedroom for her. They love her as much as me. My mom and my dad are here. The high school she would attend is amazing. My niece is her best friend. Here she can be normal...a crazy teenager.

However, it would mean breaking up the girls. That's how the court sees it. But what they don't get is that in reality, this is not seperating a family...rather, we are expanding our family. Megan and I would get to see everyone much more often.

My family has always been close. We help each other when the shit hits the fan. (excuse my language please). This is my family helping me when I need it most. This is what families do for each other. Me and my sister have a thing or two to teach Katie and Megan about what it means to be a sister.

After I blew it with mediator on Thursday, it was the girls turn yesterday (Friday). Luckily they were more prepared than I was and answered his questions with a possitive attitude. Later next week I should recieve a copy of the mediators recommandations for the judge. A hearing is set for July 5th. I expect that will be the day we will know if Katie will be allowed to live here in Medford or not.

Either way- Katie will know that I fought for her. I will do my best to allow her the freedom to make her own choice. That's all we are asking for. The freedom to choose.

Jobs & Dreams Article

2007-06-20T16:16:00.000-07:00

Well it's out. This is my latest article that was recently published in our SIA Flyer. Enjoy.

Jobs & Dreams

How many times have you been asked, Why did you want to become a flight attendant? I’ve probably been asked that about a hundred times and each time I have the same reaction, but never the same answer. I give a heavy sigh and roll my eyes up toward the sky as if the answer will somehow magically appear on the ceiling.

Why is that such a daunting question? Perhaps it’s because I have more than one answer and I need that awkward moment to decide which one to say. Or perhaps the question itself is to blame. Whoever asks it runs the risk of getting a Sunday school answer. I’m a people person! Or my personal favorite, It’s always been my dream!

Has it always been “your dream”? Were you one of those kids who LOVED flying and wondered what the view looked like from up front? I wasn’t. In fact, I never even stepped foot on an airplane until I was 22 years old and I hated it! It scared me to death. Therefore one of my many answers to that cliché question is to get over a fear of flying. It worked. I’m no longer afraid to fly.

Might I suggest a different question…How about, Are you happy being a flight attendant?
Happiness is a tricky thing. If you’re like me, it can be a difficult thing to hold onto. My answer would still be a strong YES, without hesitation or the awkward silence that follows it. Why? Because I choose it, that’s why. I firmly believe that happiness is a choice you make daily. Even when you feel stuck in a situation with no foreseeable solution, there always is one…somewhere.

One day I was sitting in the SFO crew lounge on a break hogging the computer for no good reason at all when another FA angrily stomped in and started voicing his frustration with a recent group of passengers.
Now, I understand how bad it can get out there. Sometimes you are just so tired and some dummy is walking all over your last nerve. Instead of asking him…What can I get you to drink? You’d rather throw a water bottle down the isle and yell out GO LONG!

As much as I wanted to agree and add my own horror stories to the conversation, I refrained and decided to listen. After he vented I simply said, I’m sorry your having such a bad day. At least you can start fresh with a new crowd. Try to forget about those jerks and just have a good time. He smiled. I don’t know if what I said helped or hindered, but at least I felt better about holding back my own temptation to people bash.

We don’t have to focus on the negative parts of life. There are jobs and there are dreams. If you make the choice they can be one in the same. Your imagination is your only limit. What else are you? A lawyer? A dentist? A writer? A singer? An actress? A FAM? Yes, a FAM! You can do anything. The only thing you can’t do is everything.

We rob ourselves of dreams and joy everyday. I am guilty of it too. At one time you wanted to be a flight attendant. If that happiness is missing, get it back! It’s sitting right there where you left it.
I am encouraged greatly by all the people I meet on the plane. They have lifted my spirits on more than one occasion. I am grateful for the funny, polite and inspiring ones.
Anyone can blur the line that separates what comes between a job and a dream. Some of my favorite things to say are:

Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
Be every color that you are.
Life is a wrinkled mess, be the iron.
Hope has wings.
And my favorite,
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, It is well with my soul.

Happiness is a choice. It takes daily determination. It requires confidence. Confidence breeds dedication. Dedication empowers a safe work environment. Getting folks from point A to point B safely and comfortably is our job and my dream.

Oh, BTW

2007-06-15T22:42:00.000-07:00

Looks like I'll be going through another round of cervical scraping...

My pap smear test l had last week, came back with abnormal cells. Here we go again...

The first of hurdles

2007-06-15T22:14:00.000-07:00

Sometimes life is easy. Sometimes you wish it were easy and sometimes you wonder...what is easy?

You must forgive me...I didn't realize (until I reread it) that my last post was a bit misleading. Yes, I did go to court, but no it wasn't to decide my ultimate fate for custody. That judgement is yet to come. This one was about the domestic violence restraining order.

Until Wednesday, my restraining order was tempory. I needed to have a judge order a permanent one. I found out Tuesday night that a permanent order is set for 3 years, but I can always change/drop it later if I want to. MB should have been there (it would have looked better for his case), but he wasn't.

Let me tell you, court is a whole nother world! I haven't felt that small since I shoved the tailpipe up my parents car in a joy riding accident in high school and I had to go with them to pick it up. My lawyer thought it would be an open and shut thing, but I did end up having to testify. I get a horrible feeling that this is the begining of a long drawn out expensive nightmare.

So the judge granted the permanent restraining order and said MB will have to take a drug/alcohol evaluation. The judge took his time to review the case and shook his head saying that he believed that the risk to the children was to great and MB will not be allowed visitation until he can resolve his issues with dependancy. He asked me questions about the type of knife MB had and how the girls feel. I think the question was worded like this, Do the children want to see their father?" I wasn't sure how to answer this question, so I said, "I told the court that MB has been a good father up until the last year." Later when asked about his drinking I added that he seems to be getting more violent with each drinking binge. He asked me straight out, "Do you believe [MB] is an alcoholic?" Under oath, I answered, "Yes."

Mediation is set for June 21st and then we go back to a judge on July 5th. I think (but not sure) if that is to decide custody and visitation...if any.

*MB- I'm still very sorry that it had to be this way. Please get well. Your kids don't hate you. I know this will be a rough father's day for you. Perhaps next year will be better.

Where the stress plays out

2007-06-11T14:35:00.000-07:00

I am going to court this Wednesday morning.

I guess I've been pretty worried, because last night I had a second dream about it. I don't know what to expect. My lawyer hasn't called me about it yet. Just as well...I already have an outstanding balance that I owe him. The house market is terrible! I suppose I will just send him money whenever I can.

My dream last night was interesting...Every passenger that I've ever had showed up to show their support so that the judge would not tell me that I need to find another job. I remember feeling very special that so many people cared about me.

I'm still concerned that I will not get full custody and that I might be forced into the position of choosing between my kids and my job.

Speaking of my job...I worked a tough day the other day. 5 beverage flights on the jet. That's tough. My second flight was a memorable one. It was the first time I had to remove a passenger. In the words of the other passengers, she was "hammered".

Luckily, I kept my cool and handled the situation EXACTLY the way I was trained. She was cooperative, but had no clue as to what was going on. When I told her that she would be escorted off the aircraft, she asked why I would take her off the plane while we were in the air. Yes...she actually believed we were already inflight! I explained 3 times...no maam, we haven't left the ground yet.

One very cool thing about that tough day was that I recieved applause on all 5 flights! On that drunk passenger flight, they even clapped for me twice! Man, I love this job!!

oops- gotta go...the locksmith guy is here. Yes, I did it again. I locked my keys in the car. Good thing I have my insurance company on speed dial. I have roadside assistance, so thankfully this doesn't cost me anything. whew!

Okay- I'm back. That was pretty easy. I didn't have to pay a dime and it didn't effect my day to much. I had a chance to work today, but I choose to keep my promise to Megan and take her out to see Shrek 3. Tomorrow we are going to our local water park. I bought season passes earlier this year. Kaytee is not in town. She left for Washington D.C. yesterday morning. She has been good about calling me, and it seems that she's having a good time and learning a lot. YES!!!

take care my friends.

Resume Comments!

2007-06-06T13:56:00.000-07:00

Yes, folks...comments are back!

I have enabled the ability to read and approve comments before they appear on the blog. Besides, MB is not allowed (by court order) to have any direct OR indirect communication with me. I assume that includes this blog.

Now for other interesting facts of life...

My doctor's apt. went okay. I'm picking up a perscription soon. Don't worry- I'll be fine.

What else? Let's see...

I was in Missoula, Montana last week and ran up to the big "M" that sits above the university. And OH! I had the funnest flight of all time the other day. Almost all my flights are fun, but this one was a kick. I spent so much time talking and laughing with the passengers that I almost didn't get my kitchen cleaned up before landing. It was kind of a long time too. One of those flights that normally would have had me writing some jumpseat poetry to pass the time. I'm not into those gossipy magazines.
Flying on the delta side we have 3 types of snacks to offer. I decided to include in my announcement that each one has a color..."For your snack today you do have a choice of a apple cinnimon oatmeal cookie, it does come in a GREEN package or a biscoff cookie that tastes like crunchy gingerbread, it comes in a WHITE package or the cheese crackers that come in an ORANGE package...I like to color code things, it makes it more fun so please just let me know your favorite color so that I will know if you've been paying attention."
I have found that most grown ups like telling me the color. They giggle and it makes them feel like a kid for 2 seconds. Some feel like they are being tested and so I pass them with flying colors! Get it....FLYING...COLORS!! I know- bad joke.

I have written a bit more of my story (Annie). I knocked out almost 4 pages the other day. Not to shabby all things considering.

This morning as I was driving the girls to school, I pondered over why dark colors collect and store heat better than light colors. I wonder if color is nothing more than different mixtures of specific gases? I should investigate it.

In other news...

2007-06-06T09:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was busy for travelers.

My dad & I should know! I requested to end my trip early so I could go to the doctor today. I was released in Salt Lake and had to figure out my own way home.

Everything was full!!!

I racked my brain and came up with a plan to buy an ID 90 and fly Southwest. An ID 90 is a reduced employee fare. I paid 10% and was put on the stand by list. I barely made it on both flights. Southwest doesn't fly direct SLC to SMF. I had to connect in Las Vegas (aka...lost wages).

Meanwhile, my dad's day was going great until he got stuck in Washington-Dullas. He had to spend the night there and now I'm hoping he made it into Portland, Maine this morning.

Oops, time for my appointment!!

Wedding Anniversary

2007-06-06T09:19:00.000-07:00

15 years today.

Divorce will be final soon.

I'll try to get through the day without crying.

Tired. Can I just sleep now?

2007-06-01T09:42:00.000-07:00

No Kathy! You can't sleep.

Katie graduates 8th grade next week. I'm working 10 days in a row (calander days) with one day off (her graduation) then more work. Katie then goes to Washington DC while I work. It's a ton of flying and not enough rest, but I seriously need the money! I have a stand up tonight. That means I go to work late and get off early the next day. Not enough sleep, but pays well. I just ended a 4 day trip yesterday and I will start another on Monday. OY!

I'm tired.

Recurrent pictures

2007-05-25T09:34:00.001-07:00

COME THIS WAY! GET OUT, GO GO!
Me and Savanna ready to save your ass! hehe
Damn, this door is heavy. Take the picture Savanna!!
Putting out the fire. I love doing this!
Me shouting...RELEASE SEATBELTS, GET OUT!

email

2007-05-25T09:31:00.000-07:00

My email address is

kbattles23@comcast.net

I'm not worried about giving this address out since I probably won't have it for much longer. Maybe a month or so?

The only thing is, I don't get to check it very often. I'll do my best.

When it hasn't been your day, week or month or even your year

2007-05-24T09:49:00.000-07:00

Hi friends,

I apologize for the delay. Life got worse. Yes, I know....worse?

I feel incredibly sorry for MB. But it's hard to feel THAT sorry for someone who purposefully ruins his life. I know you're reading this MB, but you know you must face the consequences for your actions. I don't mean to embarrass you by airing out all this info- but it helps me to share my struggles as well as my joys.

The school had to call the sheriff this time. He doesn't remember doing it, but he left 2 threatening messages on Kaytee's phone while I was at the coast with Megan's 5th grade camp last week. The felony charge against him will probably get reduced to a lesser charge because nobody wants Kaytee to have to stand in court and testify against her father. Besides, she erased the message.

I know you are all worried about me. Don't be. I am a strong girl and can take care of this. I have my lawyer working on a restraining order. He says he is sorry and that he wants to get his life back in order. If you really want to do that, then do it! Leave us alone.

I want him to stop drinking. I want him to get a job. I want him to care about himself and someday be able to forgive himself for the pain he has caused his family. We can forgive you MB, but you must control your anger.

The things I want, I pray for everyday. I know I can't control anything, but my own emotions. I will NOT be bitter or hateful. I will NOT be stupid. I know this could get even worse. I don't want anyone to get hurt...including myself. If I really am going to die before I'm forty, will it be at the hand of my own husband? I must protect myself and our children.

I'm not scared. I'm not mad. I don't want to be foolish.

OTHER THINGS THAT SUCK...

*The house is not selling.
*I'm almost broke.
*My car took $1200.00 last week to fix. Vacuum seal leak in the upper and lower intake valve along with new front brakes. A rental car for 1 week took it over the one thousand mark. Thank God for credit cards!
*I finally caved in and agreed to let Kaytee go live with my sister in Oregon. (I cried all morning).

THINGS THAT DON'T SUCK...

*I still LOVE my job. I've added more jokes and everyone tells me how much they enjoyed the flight when they deplane. It truely makes me happy to fly.
*Me and the girls have medical insurance now.
*The guy I'm seeing has not hit the "bail out" button yet. With all the crap that MB has put him through, I can't believe he came back! He must be foolish too.
*I wrote 2 pages on my book the other day and my next article is coming out next month. The president and vp of SIA confrence called me to ask me if they could hand out copies of my first article to every new hire flight attendant so they can put it in their manual! That is very cool and a huge compliment to my writing.
*I have had the joy of spending time with my friends the last 2 months. I've seen Savanna 3 times! She picked me up in Boise the other day and we drove past Nampa to meet up with Andrea. Andrea was also in our new hire training class and got based in Chicago. We hadn't seen her since last year. It was nice to see her again.
*I didn't have to change my tire when I picked up an exacto knife blade and it went flat. It just so happened that a male parent was meeting me to pick up his daughter and he put my spare on for me. The next day I took it back to where I bought the tire. They were able to fix it for free. These are NOT coincidences folks.
*I always have lots of help all around me. Friends, family and I know all of you are out there praying for me too.
*I will forever declare God's Grace.

God is good! All the time...GOD IS GOOD!

You must be able to see Him in the bad events as well as the good. I actually see Him clearer when life sucks.

I've seen Him a lot this year.

He tells me things will get better. He just doesn't tell me when.

**Again- I apologize for not letting you leave a comment, but I think you can send me an email.

No Comment

2007-05-13T08:43:00.000-07:00

I'm so sorry to have to do this folks...

No more comments.

It's not that I don't love getting them...I DO!! But yesterday MB got extremely hostile. He spent a great deal of time destroying my things. This is a shame because for the last few weeks we've been getting along rather well.

I don't care so much about the collection of teacups and plates that crashed to their death on my voicemail, but the baby stroller that I've had since I was 7?... the one that my parents purchased for me from a lady that brought it over from Germany...the one I used to put myself in when I was feeling sad (I've always been kinda tiny)...I guess it's gone. It was an antique and I've tried my best over the years to take good care of it.

He said he burned it. I hope it's not true.

I can only imagine that the soft white leather interior and dark velvet navy blue fabric must have gone up it two seconds. I've got to remember that it was just an item. I will not forget the way it smelled or how comforting it felt.

He wants to hurt me, but I won't let him. He's jealous that I have another male interest. He says that I'm hurting the kids and that I don't care about them...which of course IS NOT TRUE. They are mad at me though.

Today I'll be calling my lawyer and getting a restrainting order. I've already called the police. They said that my things are considered community property and that he can break them if he wants to. They suggested that I call back and get a civil escort to take me over there so I can retrieve my possesssions.

Honestly, I don't know what I should take? Is there anything left? Thank God, I already took the care bear my sister made when I was 12 and the little chair that Katie used when she was 2. Also a bead doll that a little old lady made for me when I was 9 and so many charished pictures that could never be replaced.

Enough of my drama. To all you mothers out there...Happy Mother's Day. I hope mine will understand my heart someday.

A family of friends

2007-05-08T16:27:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been spending all my time with friends! I finished recurrent training today (I've been stressing out about it for the last few weeks). Pictures to follow in my next post...but just to let you know- I PASSED! Not one single mistake on all my evacuations and 95% on the final exam. Oh yeah!!

Now sit back relax and enjoy the pics.

Me and Savanna in Boise, Idaho

Ron and Michelle in Colordo Springs. Thanks for the hospitality guys! Church was great and the BBQ wings were too! BTW- It's Tuesday- HAPPY BIRTHDAY RON!!

Me and my childhood best friend, Deedee in Ontario, Ca.